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#64358 (386/540) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<absinth> omg ! my father finished call of duty!
<misiek> so what?
<absinth> nothing but during the last-but-one mission he asked me whether one can change Colt to another gun..Comment: note: Translated from Polish
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#62237 (325/463) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AI> I just found some C code in my home dir on some linux machine
<AI> and I looked at it for a minute
<AI> and then I thought "I don't know what this is supposed to do, but it looks like something I would write"
<AI> 30 seconds later I noticed that I did write it
<AI> but I still don't know what it's supposed to do |
#63878 (295/421) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender |
#63876 (312/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<steve> I just jumped over the coffee table in the living room into a roll because I thought there was no one there but my dad was in the kitchen and he was like wtf are you doing you idiot |
#63337 (309/451) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
VarnTheGreat: I have some orange drink thing here and grape juice.
VarnTheGreat: Do I mix them together?
xTedHeadx: Yes.
xTedHeadx: Make groringe juice.
xTedHeadx: ...No, that sounds too much like groin juice.
VarnTheGreat: Haha.
xTedHeadx: Make orrape juice.
xTedHeadx: ...Yeah I don't think they'll mix well, judging by the names.
VarnTheGreat: Hahahaha. |
#62191 (195/373) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Erik> you at work?
<linuxillegal> yes
<&Erik> i didnt think bike stealing had internet access
<linuxillegal> when you franchise, theres possibilities |
#62196 (181/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Wanker123: I believe im guilty of manslaughter...
Wanker123: I figure that ive killed a baby...
Getout432: What the hell did you do man?
Wanker123: Well ive calculated the average load i shoot off to have a mass of approx 1 gram
Wanker123: If you assume twice a day, 7 days a week, thats 14 grams per week
Wanker123: 52 weeks in a year, thats 782 grams per year, rounded up to 800 because of those extra large loads
Wanker123: Now ive been wanking for at least 3 years, which means ive expelled at least 2.4 KILOGRAMS of little children... now since they've all died... and a newborn baby probably weights about 2.4 kg...
Wanker123: Therefore, i submit, that im guilty of manslaughter, for killing enough mini-children to add up to a real child...
Getout432: You really need to get laid you fucking redneck |
#64565 (147/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@psych0sys> i told my old boss once i wanted to fuck a pregnant bitch so i could say i had a threesome
<@psych0sys> she freaked out
<@psych0sys> what a fucking bitch |
#62184 (0/396) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jjpwnxu> i have nothing to do and I'm REALLY bored.
<Splinter>Lol, well I’m playin a really crap but addictive game which i want to complete and it’s really hard.
<jjpwnxu>Wait, I think i have played that! Is it called "Life"? |
#62128 (-1/353) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rob> but also making sure they are complete sets
<rob> which takes the time
<rob> just completed my fruit machine roms set
<rob> i was missing a few
<steph> :-O
<rob> i like to put on a baseball cap, put a marlboro in my mouth and play fruit machine roms - makes me feel like a chav
<steph> eChav
<rob> i just need a can of special brew to compelte the ensemble
<rob> then ill browse amazon.com and pretend im shoplifting |
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