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#57922 (620/746) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Xshare> We met at a homecoming, danced all night and hung out afterwords at a mutual friends house
<Xshare> as I was leaving, (had to go), I asked for her number and realized I didnt remember her name
<Xshare> I put it in under "Girl"
<tethra> haha
<Xshare> and then she asked me how I spelled it.
<tethra> hahahah
<Xshare> I probably woulda lost any chance right there, but
<Xshare> her friend goes "Isn't it with two Ls"?
<Xshare> and she goes, no, "it's camile with one l"
<Xshare> and I got my ass saved
<Xshare> we've been going out for 6 monthsComment: #maddox
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#57655 (595/767) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck |
#57881 (524/678) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-!- ians [~ians@206.73.209.94] has joined #berg
< ians> :-(
< jeriko> why the sad emoticon?
< ians> My name is depressing.
< jeriko> there's lots of people with the last name "gay", ians
< ians> Jeriko, my middle name is Robert.
< ians> I just received a letter from my bank titled to "I. R. Gay" |
#57867 (454/618) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Blabber> i just started working out, to get me some muscle and feel confident
<Blabber> so after the first time, i come home and look at myself in the mirror
<Blabber> to see if there is already improvement
<Blabber> my mom steps in and says "you look good enough to play in a warmovie"
<Blabber> so she boosts my confidence and i say thx! like a sergeant you mean?
<Blabber> and i swear to god then she says: no like a concentration camp victim
<Blabber> she left the room laughing her ass off... |
#58082 (356/518) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Emerl> Ok, so I ordered pizza from Dominos last night. (It's the only place in town that delivers.)
<Emerl> When the delivery guy walks up, I notice two weird things. 1. He's not wearing a name tag. 2. He is fat and has pizza stains on his shirt
<Emerl> So then I take the pizza and pay. He's squirming, real suspicious-like. When he gets the money, he runs out and gets into his car, and does a burnout as he accelerates away.
<Emerl> I open the pizza box and it looks like fucking Pac-man
<Emerl> This fucker got hungry and ate my pizza
<Emerl> Anyway, I reported him and got him fired
<Emerl> Apparently, this wasn't the first time this happenedComment: ...
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#57805 (360/534) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** Soopie has joined #perl
<Soopie> I HATE PERL
<Soopie> ITS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A REAL LANGUAGE
<Soopie> WITH ITS OBFUSCATED PUNCTUATION AND CRAP
<fr_gment> length q bless glob and print chr oct ord q mkdir m and print chr ord q xor x and print chr ord q q q and print chr ord uc q map m and print chr ord q qw q and print chr ord q each le and print chr ord q my alarm and print chr oct oct ord uc qw q for q
<fr_gment> Soopie: Run that. No punctuation at all. Nice and elegant.
<Soopie> ...
<Soopie> IT PRINTS FUCKING "GO AWAY"!?Comment: Run it and see!
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#57733 (282/444) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<FlaVouR> BTW Jewel == a South African Buddy of mine
<pinin> i figured you two knew each other since you are the only ones in the country with internet
<FlaVouR> pinin dont make me set my lion on youComment: #geekissues
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#57608 (325/537) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
#57847 (276/464) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Goat25) what is the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a ?
(Goat25) answer: pi z z a |
#57808 (167/299) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<flatface> I had a fucking HORRIBLE monitor for the longest time
<flatface> 14", tube was scratched, picture was fuzzy and fading, the plug was so loose I had to adjust it for 5 minutes every day, one side was partially discoloured, the "frame" was cracked, it was analog, it made a buzzing noise...
<flatface> was there anything else wrong with it, dex? I can't remember
<@robodex> no flat I think you covered it
<@robodex> but let's not forget pornmonitor
<@robodex> the one with boobies burnin
<flatface> That was a monitor I got used
<flatface> and returned in a day
<@robodex> yeah.
<@robodex> you bought a used monitor and it had porn burn in
<flatface> yeah
<flatface> that's after the death of my 14"
<@robodex> I woulda kept it tbh
<flatface> ha
<@robodex> it'd save me a lot of bandwidth :P |
#58096 (166/324) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TehSchoom> Dijon Vu...
<TehSchoom> The same mustard, again and again |
#57554 (203/409) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MarkTheMeS> Sharon Stone looked a little like Kelly Ripa on Letterman the other day.
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> she reminds me too much of an aunt of mine. so kinda creepy.
<MarkTheMeS> Single aunt?
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 5 kids married
<Eternal_Sunshine_Mind> 6 kids*
<monolithblue> wow, that was fast work
<MarkTheMeS> yikes
<Junk> she just shoot out another one?! |
#57593 (208/434) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Steck> Oft, your not welcome here
<Oft> bullshit
<Oft> they all want me here
<Carcer> Steck, you have no right to say whether or not he's welcome here
<Steck> Really?
<Steck> Why not?
<Carcer> Because this isn't your channel, you douchebag?
<Steck> How about, this is my IRC network
Steck is ~Steck@netadmin.neverwinterconnections.com * Steck
<Carcer> Yeah.
<Carcer> That would be a good reason for him not to be welcome here.
<Oft> I could take you with one hand
<Steck> Still want to argue Carcer?
<Carcer> Ugh, I need to start reading hostmasks. |
#57865 (103/291) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Thero> The day i suck cock is the day chicken is available in slurpee form. |
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