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#55289 (700/834) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pssh> tonight i was watching tv and eating some chinese food
<pssh> my three year old walks in and i turn around and say "Here, want some?" and she just starts crying and runs out of the room
<pssh> my wife barges in and starts yelling at me for scaring her like that
<pssh> turns out my daughter came in asking if i had seen the cat |
#55285 (357/499) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lowlypeon> You know the other day, I saw a bumper sticker "I earn it here, I spend it here - USA" And a little flag.
<Lowlypeon> On a fucking MAZDA |
#55247 (286/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Jarn> My entire belief system is under attack.
<wotnarg> ?
<@Jarn> I just found a microsoft product that is not only easy, but GOOD. :/
<@Jarn> I can't believe it.
<@Jarn> Has everything I've stood for... been a lie?
<@Jarn> Curse you, Windows Movie Maker 2.1! You are shaking the foundations of my life!
<@Jarn> Help me!
<@Jarn> What do I do? What do I believe? I'm so confused!
<wotnarg> Don't worry...
<wotnarg> It was probably made by a small company that was bought out.
<wotnarg> Like Halo.
<@Jarn> Thank you, I believe I understand now.
<@Jarn> My faith was shaken, but came out stronger in the end.Comment: #wotlinux
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#55166 (238/358) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job |
#55218 (281/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<illgl> ok people.. got something for yall.
<illgl> i've made a drawing of muhammed! bwahaha!!11
<illgl> >:)-<=< .. those are bombs around his waist. let's see now how long it takes before my embassy is burned, my mom raped and my dog eaten
* illgl (~mymail@<xx>.mine.nu) Quit (Ping timeout)
<@greml> wow, that was fastComment: abc@defghijklmno.com
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#55184 (239/391) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on. |
#55291 (181/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Noia> now I have to get dressed to go to the kitchen to get a new drink >.<
<myarray> why can't you be nakid in your own house?!
<Noia> I live in a flat with a few other people
<myarray> ah
<Noia> they might be a little disturbed if I start walking around in my underwear :P
<myarray> you never know, they might like it :)
<Noia> thats what I'm afraid of :P |
#55144 (195/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!" |
#55139 (192/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Yaakov> Humans can divide things into two by eye very accurately.
< RichiH> Yaakov: laser eyes? |
#55209 (198/386) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dr_Ian> you are a racist, Maketakunai
<Maketakunai> So what if I am?
<Maketakunai> You have something against racists?
<Dr_Ian> you have something against races?
<Maketakunai> Yes
<Maketakunai> they make my feet hurt |
#55161 (158/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<incog> i wrote an encyclopedia on paraphilias and fetishes back in 2000, but i lost it in a hd crash
<incog> climacophilia is the best
<incog> arousal by falling down stairs
<incog> like how do you notice you have that fetish?
<rolloffle> and how do you have sex while indulging it?Comment: irc.buttes.org #cockes
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#55223 (187/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< finn> I let god decide if I'm going to school tomorrow or not, by just not setting an alarm
< finn> "if god wanted me to be in school today, he woulda woken me up" |
#55277 (151/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@r0ger> i'm looking at the michigan sex offenders list
<@r0ger> and i already found 6 people i know
<@r0ger> 2 of them i work/worked with
<@ne0n> haha
<@shadow> LOL
<@shadow> nice
<@gHoTi> its cheatin to include yourself in people you have worked with ;)
<@shadow> roflComment: #m1k3y
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#55179 (166/358) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<davie> Man ms. turnhill is a hottie
<spiffy_> umm you mean your physics teacher?
<davie> Yeah man she loves me
<davie> Like today, I bumped into her
<davie> I said "hi"
<davie> She said "hello, how are you doing?"
<davie> I said "Im alright"
<davie> She said "that's good"
<davie> BAM I'm in! |
#55281 (132/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* eldan screams at all of his computers at once
-!- eldan [eldan@frog-BE65CD8.sea1.dsl.speakeasy.net] has quit [Quit: eldan]
< AmishOne-work> aparently, they heard him.
< Jesus> dang.
< Jesus> never lip off at your computers I guess. |
#55152 (188/438) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<lm> hehe, my sis hates me now
<lm> I'm always joking about how fat she is
<losre> uh, she's hot actually
<lm> yah, but it's still funny to joke about it
<losre> sure
<lm> I was making jokes again and she started throwing pencils at me
<lm> then I said "you're a very naughty girl! roll to your room and think about what you did" |
#55159 (124/284) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement |
#55173 (69/249) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rain_man> keemo - I saw something on ZA that said it's phoning home to Mossad.
<Keemo> no, thats ZionAlarm |
#55138 (70/304) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female. |
#55260 (7/1063) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MrEcho> you know when your a true geek when you start naming DB tables as unix things... like init
<sev> or like.. when you have database tables |
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