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#53079 (257/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping...

#52843 (214/352) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Nick) baaahahahahaahhaahaha
(Nick) my mom just said "the frosty the snowman cartoon is a political allegory for communism"
(Nick) because the magician is refusing to give up his possession for the good of the society
(Nick) and in the end the commies win

#53098 (202/346) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zmeiat_joro> soo..is it dangerous to use audioscrobbler/last/fm if you listen to a few things you haven't actually bought
<orospakr> nah
<orospakr> I doubt it
<shen> it is!
<orospakr> is it?
<shen> I tried using audioscrobbler with some songs that I downloaded
<shen> and I fell down the stairs.

#53028 (288/538) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fr_gment> better !pout !cry
<fr_gment> better watchout
<fr_gment> lpr why
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole >town
<fr_gment> cat /etc/passwd >list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> ncheck list
<fr_gment> cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
<fr_gment> cat list | grep nice >giftlist
<fr_gment> santa claus <north pole > town
<fr_gment> who | grep sleeping
<fr_gment> who | grep awake
<fr_gment> who | egrep 'bad|good'
<fr_gment> for (goodness sake) {
<fr_gment> be good
<fr_gment> }

#53147 (145/267) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so...do you think i can get in trouble for this scheme:
<Fool|NO-HTTP> i can cancel pick 3 and pick 4 tickets
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and if i sell a $2 ticket there is a chance to instantly win $10
<Fool|NO-HTTP> so i can buy a bunch, and cancel all the non instant winners
<Fool|NO-HTTP> and make $8 per
<s4f3_m0d3> say hello to federal prison for me
<Fool|NO-HTTP> not federal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> it is a state lottery
<s4f3_m0d3> so state prison then
<Fool|NO-HTTP> if i messed with multistate lottery i may get federal issues
<Fool|NO-HTTP> but i fail to see what is illegal about it
<Fool|NO-HTTP> they just left a HUGE loophole
<Fool|NO-HTTP> buying tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> canceling tickets: legal
<Fool|NO-HTTP> afk, cops are here
<s4f3_m0d3> afk for the next five to ten?

#52768 (117/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< specsmu> calculus and women go hand in hand
< specsmu> it's applied calculus to find the area under a curve.

#53100 (133/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Vent> if I ever get drunk and can't get it up in bed I'll tell her erection reset by beer

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