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#52748 (4537/5075) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that I would use a slideshow on afterwards.
<jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean?
<jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up.
<jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly.
<jesterlo1> FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER HAS "SET AS BACKGROUND" NEXT TO "SAVE IMAGE"
<jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face.
<jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying as my background.
<jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox. |
#52718 (248/334) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HypnoGenX> I know about as much about mobile phones as I do about girls.
<HypnoGenX> They're both noisy and frightening, yet they make me want to touch them. |
#52590 (211/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm |
#52648 (210/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof. |
#52667 (191/317) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kronus> AAAUGH
<kronus> HOLY CRAAAAP
<kronus> HEEEELP
<kronus> the heat in my house won't turn on
<kronus> and
<kronus> the temperature in my room right now is 57.3 F :/
<kronus> and
<kronus> i'm out of firewood
<kronus> so
<kronus> i have 4 ways to stay alive: F@H, P95, BF2, or HL2
<kronus> which is more processor intensive? |
#52452 (183/313) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, you're information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott has quit (Quit: )
<Ricky> :O
<Ricky> God damn, that was a good one.
<moo> lol
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, your information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has left #g-masters
<moo> o_O
<Ricky> Hahahah
<moo> do you know him?
<Ricky> Nope.Comment: Paranoia is fun!
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#52660 (164/282) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Log> Ugh...
<@Log> Don't ever jump into a car like they do in the Dukes Of Hazzard.
<@Log> Unless of course you WANT to get sodomised by the gear shift. :( |
#52628 (170/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
blazewing: DUDE WHERE IS HE
amier (dead): right there mofo
blazewing: IM OUTTA BULLETS QUICK HOW DO I RELOAD
blazewing: HOW BITCHES TELL ME
amier (dead): F5!
blazewing: ITS NOT RELOADING
kayanami: LOL
blazewing: THANKS MOTHERFUCKER I'M DEAD YOU BUNCH OF FAGGOTS ARE THE WORST TEAMMATES EVER
amier (dead): Oh, you were talking about the game? I thought you meant firefox |
#52608 (156/270) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
arap816: hmm, so i just got back to my dorm after leaving in a hurry saturday morning
bob3: yes?
arap816: and i think i just summarized friday night with one question to my roommate
arap816: "why is there a doorknob on my desk?"Comment: It was a serious question, and it's still a mystery.
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#52606 (115/235) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< specsmu> ohhhh that reminds me
< specsmu> after I went to petsmart I went to panda express
< specsmu> I ordered my food, went through the line
< specsmu> keep in mind I'm 6', full beard
< specsmu> the lady looks at me, and says "can I help you, maam?"
< specsmu> so I said in a really loud voice, "wow, they call me maam on the phone all the time, but never in person"
< specsmu> she apologized... so after I called her "sir" once, I dropped it. |
#52518 (144/318) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
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#52517 (127/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
23:02:28 <@murderdeathkiller> is there something wrong with a girl who doesn't shave?
23:02:33 < Rutger> No, there isn't
23:02:40 < Patrick``> it's perfectly natural.
23:02:46 <@murderdeathkiller> that's curious. in europe it's like, no, that's cool
23:02:57 <@murderdeathkiller> in america it's like "I WANT YOU TO BE BALD LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OL DOWN THERE BABY"
23:03:23 < Patrick``> I'd rather have wispy hair than stubble
23:03:34 < Patrick``> it's like "this vagina has the texture of rambo's chin" |
#52438 (100/248) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Anagon> me,mimi and aaron drinking outside pub
<Anagon> girl comes over selling LED pendants
<Anagon> asks if i wanted to buy one for my girlfriend
<Anagon> "she's worth a pound fifty isn't she?"
<Anagon> and i hate getting heckled, specially using a girl against me
<Anagon> so i replied "i dunno.. how about 1 pound forty nine?"
<Anagon> managed to piss them both off at once ;p
<_Mj> lol
* Anagon got her it in the end |
#52624 (45/211) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shadda> Explaining the concept of referential integrity to a mysql user is like explaining condoms to a catholic |
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