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#50795 (264/428) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<J-Dawg> I was cruising through this one-sheep town here in Montana
<J-Dawg> and I had "Get Naked" by tommy lee playing at 3/4 power
<J-Dawg> which means my tires were slipping on dry pavement from the vibrations.
<J-Dawg> and this cop pulls me over
<J-Dawg> "Do you know why I pulled you over, son?"
<J-Dawg> "...because I had Tommy Lee blasting on my stereo?"
<J-Dawg> "Oh, that was Methods of Mayhem?"
<J-Dawg> "Yessir."
<J-Dawg> "Sweet! Have a nice day." |
#50770 (207/353) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AlexMax> the closest i ever got to even having a girlfriend is when i asked a girl out via aim and she said "brb" and signed off. |
#50815 (197/399) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+mahangu> i have a theory
<+mahangu> linux geeks are better in bed
<+mahangu> seriously, take a guy who spends _hours_, even _days_ troubleshooting his ethernet card
<+mahangu> isn't he going to be more likely to find the clitoris?Comment: #freenode on irc.freenode.net
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#50801 (149/299) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
scythen32: man
scythen32: having ap stats at the end of the day is killer
so far gone fia: sounds like it might be
scythen32: it's like you've been wandering in a desert for ages
scythen32: the sun beats down harshly on your exposed skin
scythen32: you're exhausted, your throat parched parched
scythen32: you reach the top of a dune, and hark! civilization!
scythen32: water, shelter
scythen32: it's all there
scythen32: just a bit further...
scythen32: and then this guy comes out of nowhere and kicks you in the nuts |
#50774 (147/309) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@philb> I have a new task at work, I have to improve traffic to the website by not changing anything or advertising
<@philb> I've decided to use chanting
<@philb> I'll tail -f the logs of the webservers on a giant projector screen in an abandoned church
<@philb> and chant a lot. |
#50726 (151/329) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
wietz0r: I got a poem
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish not for a big house
wietz0r: Or a large car
wietz0r: I wish for something small
wietz0r: Possibly with side-bars
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish
wietz0r: I wish only one wish
wietz0r: And that is to never ever fucking sneeze in someones face during sex again
BernardBlack: ahahahahhhahahahaha
BernardBlack: "oh god katie, I -=ATCHOO=-"
BernardBlack: now that would be an orgasm and a half
BernardBlack: *sneeze* *sperm* "er, ok2 |
#50722 (-4/400) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cinsu> I'm 12...going to college would be odd.
<@Grodus> o_O Geez, 12 years old?
<@Grodus> Fresh from the tit, are we?
<@CFX> ROFL
<@Zero7> XD XD XD XD XD
<Cinsu> What the hell?Comment: #samus.co.uk IRC chat
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