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#50630 (716/854) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< cosmo_gunny> I was at the market buying food, and I was in the dairy department..
< cosmo_gunny> and there were various Land Of Lakes products.. with a big sign that said "LOL CHEESE"
< cosmo_gunny> and I lost it. |
#50716 (343/485) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
nurv3947: So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she's kinda fat, right?
nurv3947: And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend and asks "Are you pregnant?"
nurv3947: And she says "Yes, I got gang raped by twelve donuts." |
#50650 (277/397) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
anomaly aww there are birdies nesting right above my window frame
anomaly the mother is starring at me wondering if I'm gonna eat her young
anomaly how cute
anomaly I think I'll get kfc tonight and freak them out |
#50718 (294/420) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
<Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
<Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
<Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
<Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever. |
#50704 (289/463) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Toba|Unix> And God said, trust not the tinyurl, for it is subtle and quick to abuse your trust. And it came to pass, that Robert did click the tinyurl and was assaulted from behind by gay pr0n popups. And god said, wtf? I told you...Comment: #wpi
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#50706 (253/413) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@pixeldust> man i got so much candy tonight
<@ash> awww, pixie still twick oh tweats!
<@pixeldust> stfu
<@pixeldust> what you do for all hallow's eve?
<@ash> scared little kids that came up to my porch.
<@X5-424> went to a costume party at a hotel
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> i shaved my pubes off and painted my sack up like a pumpkin
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> then jumped out of the closet bare assed when my girlfriend got home and said "trick or treat bitch!" and chased her around the apartment with my wang.
<@ash> o_O
<@X5-424> leave it to bobby to kill a conversation dead in its tracks.Comment: #red-eclipse
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#50658 (236/390) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[10:42] chad: you now your an asset to a company when they bail you out of jail. |
#50632 (199/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<typobox43> I have absolutely zero interest in sharing (all of) my bookmarks. My bookmarks, for the most part, reflect my changing interests and surf habits over time. I would consider it a fairly serious breach of personal privacy were those to be tracked (or trackable). If I decide to share my bookmarks, I want the option for it to be anonymous, and I want it to be able to share only particular subsets of my entire collection.
<demeteloaf> typo doesn't want people knowing about his fetish for emus taking vicious dumps.
<typobox43> I don't bookmark sites I go to daily. |
#50703 (207/369) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gravier> speaking of jerri
<Gravier> I made quite the faux pas with her therapist the other day
<Gravier> I usually don't talk like this
<Gravier> but we were schmoozing a little bit
<Gravier> doing guy talk
<Gravier> you know
<Gravier> brought up that jerri is a very sexual person
<Gravier> she's hot, you know, stuff like that
<Gravier> well I noticed he had a new receptionist
<Gravier> very pretty girl
<Gravier> and I said so
<Gravier> well, my exact words were, "She's got a hot little body herself."
<croiduire> not PC?
<Gravier> well
<Gravier> his exact words back were "She's my daughter." |
#50585 (242/448) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Joey-X> so im talking to my friend whose hanging out at my place for a joint homework effort and we start making bets on who will do what, like, I bet you 2 bucks you wont drink that expired milk or I bet you 3 bucks you wont go out on the fire escape and yell "WHITE POWER" or something
<Joey-X> and she bets me I wont show her my wang
<Phaser> WHITE POWER
<Joey-X> indeed, but anyway so I pull down my pants and this is the fuckin funniest thing..I wasnt hard yet and she grabs it(this is where I should remind you im not circumsized) and pulls the skin back and - no fucking joke - says 'it looks like a hydralisk'Comment: #quahog
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#50674 (108/226) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<psych> Huh. Fancy that.
<psych> Scientific discovery: ducks will eat McDonald's chicken nuggets.
<psych> This is either avian cannibalism or a damning critique of McD's... |
#50524 (123/287) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<celti> When your life is going down the drain, it's best not to turn on the garbage disposal. |
#50715 (124/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(teh_Neo) Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
(teh_Neo) fucking song is stuck in my head
(teh_Neo) teh_Neo just noticed the irony in that =( |
#50573 (134/324) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ragnara> 02:58:23 <Supuun> hay guys
<Ragnara> 02:06:32 <Libido> Hay.
<Ragnara> TIME PARADOX
<Ragnara> Oh wait
<Ragnara> Daylight savings |
#50589 (138/340) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Calathar> i'm playing civ2
<Calathar> get this
<Calathar> the japanese will kill me if i don't give them mathematics
<Calathar> YOU'RE THE FUCKING JAPANESE, YOU'RE BORN WITH IT |
#50647 (115/283) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Eonwe> the moon tonight is gorgeous
<Smeghead> Thank you. I just had it waxed.
<JoeK> Oh my god, yes it is
<JoeK> red-orange
<Smeghead> Well, there was some irritation...
* Jessity goes to look
* Smeghead drops trou |
#50549 (81/241) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hrun> how would a core dump feel?
<rockot> pretty good especially after a big breakfastComment: #sdl on irc.freenode.net
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#50560 (58/260) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Warrior412> (*)
<+Warrior412> It's an olive.
<+Warrior413> .-.
<+Warrior413> it's a park bench
<+Warrior412> $$$$$$$ it's 7 dollar signs
<+Warrior413> oh
<+Heero> It's two idiots :-PComment: #intuitive on ECNet
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#50516 (40/238) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Merturk_NB> lets see how these new speakers work
<sidewinder> by vibration, just like the old ones
<Merturk_NB> work good
<sidewinder> that's nice |
#50695 (31/213) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
novwithabullet: man, now I have SMB2 music stuck in my head
Deuz MA: hahaha
Deuz MA: duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh duh-nuh-nuh-nuh DOO DOO
doo doo do dittle doo, doo doo do dittle do ..
novwithabullet: oh man, you got that spot on
Deuz MA: LOL
novwithabullet: and then there's bum-ba da dum dum ba-dum ba da dum
Deuz MA: hahahaha
Deuz MA: i totally know what one that is
novwithabullet: I like to think of SMB2 as the first mario-party game
Deuz MA: I'm trying to think of how to write the boss music
novwithabullet: it's too fast
novwithabullet: dudududududu DU DU dududududududu DU DU |
#50477 (14/276) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nosebleed> I usually get awakened by any object entering my ass |
#50646 (13/355) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Julius: dude so my sis knows a girl right
Julius: an this girl
Julius: used mayo as a sexual lube one night
Julius: so
Julius: next couple of days
Julius: she gets unexplained orgasms
Julius: so she goes to the doctor
Julius: and
Julius: boom
Julius: maggots
Julius: a la vaginaComment: ... out of KY? Check the fridge...
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