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#311027 (17/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
23:59 <@swight> My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone
Day changed to 31 Dec 2015
00:00 <@swight> and now you should feel old
Comment: EFNet
#310390 (20/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheBadSpoon> to explain reddit, it's basically a large anus comprised of many sub-anuses
#309421 (25/33) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<luz> i'm dizzy and it hurts to breathe
<LAMMJohnson> luz: Lay down and stop breathing
#307886 (26/62) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<glxblt> FUCK ME IN THE ASS
<glxblt> the car won't start
<glxblt> 45min until booze store closes
<GargajCNS> cant you just order via the internet
<peppupupu> yeah
<glxblt> this is no time for jokes people, there's not a drop of booze in the house
[...]
<glxblt> okay, the car will maybe start if I let it be in the charger for 15 minutes
<glxblt> then I'll drive around for 15 minutes and that'll leave me 15 minutes to get the booze.
<glxblt> shit shit shit, if I don't drive around for the 15 minutes I will be stuck at the store parking lot
<glxblt> hmmm
<glxblt> maybe if take a risk and leave my car running
[...]
<glxblt> i will so fucking order a taxi if my car doesn't start in a while
<glxblt> i need to get drunk today
Comment: Finland.
#307294 (22/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
#310960 (28/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wushin> Well then you should also know that's considered a stereotype.
< o11c> You know what they say about stereotypes.
< gumi> What do they say?
< o11c> They're twice as big as monotypes.
#309264 (64/84) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Xenesis> Hell of a first sentence in a news article: "The government of Honduras sacks its ambassador to Colombia after the embassy was reportedly robbed by prostitutes during a drunken Christmas party. "
#309228 (11/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"
#309107 (37/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Oliphaunt> I've been put off the Kindle by richard stallman and other horror stories about amazon fuckery
<@Lorkki> I like the expression "richard stallman and other horror stories"
#307043 (29/55) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> god damn it
<@Rjx> whoever said I'd learn to like the Star Trek Enterprise theme was right
#307039 (70/104) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<scoff> Look, the watermelon was being microwaved to defrost it, and I don't know how my pants fell down when I tripped but those pictures are my intellectual property
#302767 (27/39) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@packrat> ugh, whose great idea was it to tie piercing sizes to wire gauge standards
<+indigo> i think it's a great idea
<+Stormgren> probably because piercing posts, are, to an extent, based on metal wire?
<@packrat> sucks for stretching though
<+indigo> it makes answering questions like "how much current could the hole in my ear handle, when filled with copper?" easy
<+Stormgren> LMAO
<@packrat> hah
<+Stormgren> that depends on how fast your earlobe can dissipate heat
<+Stormgren> otherwise you have to provide a earlobe derating factor to the wire
<+indigo> i'd think an ear is a better heatsink than air
<@packrat> yeah, bloodflow can dissipate heat to the rest of the body
<+indigo> it's liquid cooled
#302445 (8/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mark: Wtf
Mark: Ive been here an hour and a half and still haven't done anything
Mark: I'm waiting for my boss to tell me to do something
Mark: but hes too busy pirating movies from my hard drive.
#307222 (81/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pawz> the other day.. when i turned up in town to service this client? i actually turned up in the middle of hte night and i couldnt check into my hotel until morning. so before i left i dropped 5 tabs of lsd, and by the time i arrived i was absolutely tripping balls
<pawz> i went into the park and stacked all my bags up and put a stuffed pikachu on the top and sat there chatting on irc for a few hours
<pawz> then i walked to my old university, and wandered around seeing if my old keycard would give me access to anything
<pawz> and gave people really bizarre answers when people asked me who i was and what i was doing there
<pawz> "why are you sitting outisde the refectory with a laptop and tablet and a pickahu plushie ?" "pikachu and i are auditing your network"
Comment: #68kMLA on chat.freenode.net
#303436 (52/124) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* aqualis does science to Deltantor
=-= Deltantor is now known as rotnatleD
<ronatleD> !tuo edinsi em denrut uoy
* aqualis gazes upon his creation with disgust and horror
Comment: irc.foonetic.net #xkcd
The Preferences page allows you to disable these links and much more!
#310251 (38/102) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fryerfly> there were a couple of guys on other courses i got on with
<fryerfly> some of our modules overlapped
<fryerfly> we had some good times playing lan games of halo
<fryerfly> except i kept winning
<fryerfly> which offended them
<fryerfly> eventually they declared we were going to have a match
<fryerfly> them vs me
<fryerfly> i was limited to an energy sword and a pistol
<fryerfly> they could use anything they liked
<fryerfly> i won
* fryerfly was never invited again
#309849 (36/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bish0p_> The problem with European History is that there is too goddamn much of it.
#310484 (23/61) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Phase4> "Reaching out to more and more gamers, Minecraft developers are planning to include subtitles for the convenience of people who have the inability to hear."
<Quora> "hisss"
<Quora> "ugh"
<Sanchal> "Clank"
<Phase4> "boom"
<Quora> "whack"
<Sanchal> "tinktinktink"
<Phase4> "mooo"
<Quora> "bawk"
<Kopachris> "zoop"
<Quora> "kodak film"
#309853 (162/200) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Spellcheck has quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Boletus> Fnilaly!
#309092 (33/91) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Dixie> i hate how minesweeper can get into indeterminable situations really late in a game
<%Vaccer> dixie get better at maths
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> vaccer it's not a case of maths. there are plenty of situations where it can end up impossible to know where the bomb is
<@Loskene> just like a real minefield
<@ACE_DEFECTIVE> the only way to win is not to play
#308877 (-18/118) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tree_Hugger>  hey, how do I access to my eternal harddrive?
#305532 (39/81) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ana> i lied to hypno last night about contractions
<ana> but he is handling everything with calm
<ana> so he kept eating while looking at me
<ana> and i couldn't keep it serious for long enough
<ana> he said he will never believe me again
<Ultali> ana do they not have the story about the preggers girl who cried wolf in Romania?
<ana> yes we do
<Elleo> in Romania wolves are traditional midwives, so it has a whole different interpretation
#297300 (80/120) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fax> TAKE OFF YOUR TOP STOP
<Fax> OH YEAH THAT IS SO HOT STOP
<Fax> You can see why telegraph sex never caught on
<NEO|Phyte> what do they do if they need to include the word stop in their message?
<Arang> DON'T STOP PLEASE STOP
<XiaoTie> STOP STOP
<Star-Sacred> HARDER STOP
#169396 (-3/135) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Sacro> 90.209.238.56 - - [12/May/2008:21:26:03 +0100] "GET /iminurlogsgettinfourohfours HTTP/1.1" 404 1023
#182244 (-22/224) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<tyger> mushroom mushroom?
<jeff> SNAKE!
The London Vandal Store, you should check it out.
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