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#41188 (243/393) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!* |
#41218 (243/393) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Whitetail: My friend said his teachers used to be worried, because he was normally the happy smiling person..who would sing "Lift your head up high (And blow your brains out) by bloodhound gang, with a smile on his face and in a good mood"
Whitetail: Heh, remember in like school, when you were young, and they asked what you all had in common? "we all have two arms, we all have two legs"?
Whitetail: He said "We're all going to die"
Whitetail: He got a call home, and his mom said...so? Hes telling the truth |
#41215 (177/309) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<simon-say> asking for relationship advice on irc is like asking for computer help at mcdonalds |
#41154 (197/349) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BoomBaBa> Meanie, sorry but I am not a fat 16 year old whose diet consists of pizza and hot pockets
<BluMeanie> I hate pizza
<BluMeanie> and we don't have hot pockets in canada
<mkart64> BluMeanie: why didn't you deny the fat part first
<BluMeanie> mkart, cause the food caught my attention |
#41197 (192/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zb> so like these two strings walk into a bar
<zb> one goes to the bartender...
<zb> "i'd like a jack and cokeEWdc#@@$@23Dwqxsa.xq. qwqw\0xx32
<zb> the second one says, "you'll have to excuse my friend, he isn't nul terminated."
<zb> :< |
#41178 (117/259) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<True> do you think that whether or not you jackoff affects your life
<eyecu> of course
<eyecu> think about all the ugly girls you might have had sex with
<eyecu> if you hadnt jacked off first
<True> that's such a good pointComment: #tribalwar irc.dynamix.net
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#41219 (124/276) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[@jmelloy] my dad went to highschool with Janeway
[@selcouth] jmelloy: YOUR DAD IS IN STARFLEET? |
#41182 (97/289) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<J_MAN> what sex are you and how old
<Samsa> my name is Gregor Samsa, and I awoke this morning to find myself transformed into a monstrous vermin |
#41199 (49/143) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<xtraverse> we were thinking about building the shed out of wood
<HerbDX> dude that'd come down faster than my pants at a childrens day out
<HerbDX> oh SHIT that REALLY came out wrong
<xtraverse> you have issues |
#41221 (11/117) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mog> I know this guy whose girlfriend has cheated on him at least 8 times that I know of... somehow they're still together, even though he knows
<krsONE> wow
<krsONE> thats a lack of self worth
<JinxedLynx> the sex must be good
<mog> um... no JinxedLynx
<trousersnake> 13 is as 13 does
<mog> as far as I know, they don't even have sex anymore... not that I'd want to, this girl is a fucking irresponsible slut
<mog> she's the one who has had "4 or 5 abortions"
<JinxedLynx> maybe she wants to set a record
<mog> maybe
<krsONE> she has the abortion punch card
<mog> THE SEVENTH ONE IS FREE! |
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