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#39904 (201/369) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Puunukke> A Russian lieutenant stands on a cliff with his crew. He looks down, and points at one of his privates.
<Puunukke> - You there. Stand here on the edge, stick your right hand out and jump down.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant watches the soldier fall down and shouts to the next one.
<Puunukke> - You! Come here, point your left hand and left foot forward and jump down.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant again watches the soldier fall, thinks for a minute and shouts again.
<Puunukke> - You there. Come lie down here on the edge, put your right foot up and roll over to the chasm.
<Puunukke> The lieutenant continues until a general arrives at the scene shouting at the lieutenant.
<Puunukke> - Lieutenant Vasiljev, how many times do I have to tell you not to play Tetris at work? |
#39831 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<becci> where do you go to find out if a dentist is legit?
<spilt> hehe
<spilt> 1800DENTIST
<effnet> well
<effnet> if hes using rusty plyers to pull your teeth out
<effnet> he might not be legit
<spilt> she wants to know before i think
<becci> what if he works on your teeth for 2.5 hours and keeps saying "oh my...that's a lot of blood"
<becci> and "that etch really stops the bleeding good"
<effnet> toof had some dental work but her teeth are so big they had to use a jack hammer to operate on them
<luminol> if your zipper is down when the antesthesia wears off
<withnail> then your first treatment is free
<becci> can you guys shut the fuck up |
#39929 (119/247) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<skycreatoR> hehe awesome
<skycreatoR> today at my job (i work in a cinema) we had the premiere on shrek 2
<skycreatoR> and because of the ocation, green popcorn
<skycreatoR> then some little girl came over to my booth and asked why the popcorns were green
<skycreatoR> i said it was because we put mashed shrek down in the popcorn machine
<skycreatoR> then she began crying and ran away |
#39844 (132/284) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+Demanther> your fired
<@Alien> you're
<@Jimstang> hahahaha the forener is correcting the American on english
<@Alien> foreignerComment: Jimstang's the American too :)
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#39890 (91/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< drinker> CFC you're not a real criminal, are you?
< CFC> no... im a counterfeit one :\
< CFC> blame gamespy and its wierd as hell random nick generator
< CFC> i got Counterfeitcriminal and ArmouredCrack :|
< drinker> :-)
< drinker> you chose well between them. The latter sounds like a chastity
belt |
#39919 (81/195) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mrwinkey> I had to date ALOT of women before I found my wife
<mrwinkey> most of them were money grubbing sluts
<mrwinkey> I enjoyed the slut part way more than the money grubbing part. |
#39865 (85/215) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@fez> .dice -1
<@Q> fez: A 2139451499 shows on the -1-sided die.Comment: #maddox on irc.whatnet.org
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#39860 (69/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[23:03] <@tH> my friend's buying an ethernet switch from dell
[23:03] <%spazizoner> WHAT
[23:03] <@Knifa> LOL
[23:03] <@tH> and in the online checkout
[23:03] <@ReadMe> stop them, quick
[23:03] <@tH> it asks you
[23:03] <@tH> Q4. Will the product(s) be used in connection with weapons of mass
[23:03] <@tH> destruction, i.e. nuclear applications, missile technology, or
[23:03] <@tH> chemical or biological weapons purposes?Comment: We told him to tell him to awnser yes... not sure if he did it tho
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#39892 (34/234) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@jk0> the teacher is kind of hot
<@psych0sys> i had a hot teacher once
<@psych0sys> took em 45min to put out the flames |
#39926 (8/212) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ircToonz> I like pot more than beer because I don't wake up in my own vomit when I smoke to much pot |
#39920 (4/102) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<anarchy_x> heheh
<anarchy_x> one of ash's little friends just called "x, ashley said the b word and the f word"
<anarchy_x> i'm like "which?"
<anarchy_x> she's like "you know, the b word and the f word"
<anarchy_x> i'm like "i dont get what you mean"
<anarchy_x> "she says, you know, bitch and fuck"
<anarchy_x> i said "now i'm calling your mom to tell on you."
<anarchy_x> and then hung up before she could say anything |
#39925 (0/218) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<olly> whats cookin good lookin?
<reegs> youd have to catch me on a very rare occasion to find me cookin |
#39885 (0/156) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<xtalcy> i know the basic plot of star wars is the same as mall rats
<xtalcy> ive seen mall rats a bunch of times:)
<xtalcy> except instead of the girl with three nipples, theres yoda, and instead of the stage, theres the death star |
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