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#39543 (124/210) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ingannilo (8:52:41 PM): it was occuring to me that I'd be fine working like 50 hours/weed at publix if I was high, 'cause I could totaly space out and still do my job
ingannilo (8:52:55 PM): hours/week
ingannilo (8:52:59 PM): freudian slip slidin' right into the unemployment line. |
#39517 (62/138) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Sohcahtoa] oh my god this tastes so damn good...why did I never think of this before? Filled a cup with ice, put in 2 oz of Vodka (Stoli) and filled the rest up with fruit punch.
...five minutes later...
[Sohcahtoa] God damn I think I put in a bit too much vodka in that punch...my head is hurting, but if I keep whacking myself in the back of my head with my fist, it stops hurting.
[Sohcahtoa] I should go to fucking bed now.
[Sohcahtoa] I stopped hitting myself in the head and now the back of my head hurts as well as the rest of it.
[Sohcahtoa] God damn I'm a fucking idiot.Comment: Sohcahtoa in a rare moment of clarity
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#39544 (81/187) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* TheWoozle wonders if an antipuppy brings unhappiness...
TheWoozle: ...and removes slobber from your face...
TheWoozle: ...and repairs chewed-up toys...
phealy: ...and causes a massive explosion when it touches a puppy!
mundungu: Or eats puppies.
TheWoozle: ...and makes cats feel happy and secure...
mundungu: And helps the mailman deliver his packages?
mundungu: Ahhh, yeah.
* TheWoozle thinks there should be a mind-warp drive which uses the energy released by a puppy-antipuppy reaction ^_^
* TheWoozle wouldn't want to have to clean up afterwards, though. |
#39526 (92/228) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< The_Q> su - 9070b574c12
< The_Q> aww man. ignore that -- it's not my root password!!!!!
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx] has quit ["0wned"]
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx has joined #channel]
< The_Q> Hey, wtf happened to my box?!?! |
#39504 (33/101) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case. |
#39529 (36/118) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting. |
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