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#37391 (188/358) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<asdfasdf> You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and is like, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," and does his thing, then he puts the mike down but forgets to turn it off. Then he says, "Man, all I want right now is a blow-job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess goes runnin' up towards the cock-pit to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy in the back of the plane goes, "Don't forget the coffee!"
#37416 (9/161) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@AlmtyBob> man
<@AlmtyBob> alcoholics take themselves too seriously
<@AlmtyBob> some dude comes up to me wanting to cancel a day off he'd put in
<@AlmtyBob> saying he didn't remember why he put it in the first place, nothing was going on except his one year anniversary of not drinking
<@AlmtyBob> so I said smth like, "Hey! Steve and I are going downtown on Thursday, come down to the bar and we'll celebrate"
<@AlmtyBob> he wasn't amused
<@AlmtyBob> if you can't joke about yourself who can you joke about?

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