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#31761 (403/523) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"
#31766 (374/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
We had the schools first HP laser printer installed in the PC lab for less than 24 hours when we received the only the first complaint on it. One of the users came down to tell us that the laser printer wasn't printing and had eaten his report. We tried to explain to him that the printer can't eat your report, and he said, yes it truly had and that there was smoke coming from the printer along with strange grinding noises. Upon investigation we discovered that he had taken his 5 1/4" floppy and had somehow crammed it into the envelope feed and hit printscreen, whereupon it promptly fused into a mess. The printer had less than 50 total pages through it.
#31745 (245/443) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warewolf> "It sucks when you sneeze with a dildo in, and inadvertantly become a one-round-gun."
#31751 (192/352) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<benapp> well Pnther instlled without  hitch
<benapp> except Softwre updte keeps killing my '' key
<benapp> I'll let you guess which key I men
<benapp> since I cn't exctly type one
<benapp> oky now THAT is fucked up:  I cn type A CAPTIAL A just fine
<benapp> but not A lowercAse one
<benapp> so now I cAn look like one of those dipshits WiTH tHE rAnDOm cAPiTAlizATioN
<benapp> OkAy, Ben is VERY confused
<benapp> my A key works FINE when AuthenticAting to wAke up from sleep
<benapp> BUT
<benapp> it won't work Anywhere else
<benapp> AnywAy, I cAn see you're not there...lAter!
#31748 (121/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gr> So, uh, both Gentoo's main servers and Red Hat Network are dead in the water at the moment.
<gr> Which one of you naughty children has been hax0ring?
<DJ-Pyro> sorry..I'll back off
* Lippizanr checks the weather
<gr> Pyro, you really don't have to be that ambitious just to get your letter published in 2600, I promise.
* Lippizanr snickers
<DJ-Pyro> it was to get the girl..not to get in 2600
<DJ-Pyro> Hey Lippizanr, I took down RHN and Gentoo just for you baby
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> see
<DJ-Pyro> it works
<Lippizanr> you really DO love me!
<Lippizanr> your hax0ring ways have woo'd me! lets go have sex!
#31763 (93/243) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rumpelteazer> have you ever drunk hand cream
<Rumpelteazer> I don't feel at all well
<Rumpelteazer> the original bottle broke, and all I had handy was my old coffee cup.
<Rumpelteazer> the bottle broke when I tripped over an old ps2 controller my husband had attatched to my computer for unknown reasons
<Rumpelteazer> and I returned to my desk with a big cup of coffee.
<Rumpelteazer> and I mixed the two cups up.
#31756 (97/257) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* DigDug has joined #ramen
<Morris> You get the ankles, and I'll get the wrists...
<DigDug> ack!
#31747 (98/300) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sarah_mascara> and she hated her unique name. so she named me SARAH.
<sarah_mascara> YAY FOR THAT.
<vanbeast> hahahaha
<sarah_mascara> and being labeled 'Sarah R.' my whole live.
<sarah_mascara> life, also.
<vanbeast> :)
<sarah_mascara> my mom used to tell me i had the 'charlie brown syndrome' because i always introduced myself as 'sarah richter.' 'cause i always knew too many sarahs, you know.
<sarah_mascara> but...
<vanbeast> download faster, song
<vanbeast> I was always the only ben. that was weird for me.
<sarah_mascara> i must admit, it took on a whole new meaning when my mom got REALLY drunk about two years ago and told me i was conceived at the 'charlie brown hotel' on myrtle beach.
#31749 (7/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> what the shit
<Rjx> http://www.ukgeek.co.uk/
<Rjx> I spent 3 minutes trying to move that window
<Rjx> before I realised a) it was an image
<Rjx> and b) I wasn't even in linux
#31750 (0/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Xarpolis> I have so much Porn on this computer... ;p
<@Xarpolis> hell, if I ever decided to take it in for service (because I do it all on my own anyway)
<@Xarpolis> I'd make my desktop be a huge mozaic of lesbians and have a what's left of the desktop be nothing but video's

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