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#28309 (1118/1224) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you lookin' for a good time"
<Boogieman> and she said "yes"
<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say |
#28320 (311/435) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline |
#28294 (268/416) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<WillaCuz> *sigh*
<WillaCuz> why do people shoot at robocop |
#28296 (270/464) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine |
#28297 (208/372) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be in front of a mirror when i remind myself. |
#28301 (243/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!" |
#28300 (241/463) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!" |
#28312 (182/354) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<daenonok> i remember this one time, like two years ago my girlfriend (at the time) was trying to learn me...somethen, i wasn't really paying attention, but she said
<daenonok> 'if barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours'
<daenonok> after like a minute of thinking i was like 'that seems like icing on the cake' |
#28317 (193/381) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Saber, just imagine yourself being gangbanged by moths. This is what will happen to you if you don't behave.
<Saber> what
<Saber> I didn't do anything
<Saber> and I have a bat
<Saber> I'll fight them off
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> That's not going to help a lot.
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Can't you just feel their tiny cocks writhing against your skin, Saber?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Just straining to reach an orifice?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Do you like it?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Does it feel good?
<Saber> That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me |
#28303 (168/338) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now. |
#28319 (122/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NeonDawn> Does anyone know if there exists some irc-script (bX or egg) that lets other users open a shell through dcc?
<cwd> NeonDawn: i think you're looking for GetOwned v1.3
<NeonDawn> cwd: thanks, i'll try it |
#28324 (153/335) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FireEgl> so hurngy =(
<tito> why don't you eat your dick?
<tito> heh
<FireEgl> I need something more filling. |
#28315 (132/302) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dru> been going strong for like 20 minutes
<Velcro_> the viagra's helping eh?
<Dru> yeah like i need drugs to keep a constant hard on
<Quorthy> viagra is for ppl without usenet access
<Quorthy> & usenet is for ppl without vagina access |
#28293 (138/328) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just like to play there and lick all that is avilable down under. Will u allow me under? i Know u want me under ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas.... |
#28314 (103/257) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TigerSun> bhahahahahahaha
<TigerSun> article on k5
<TigerSun> "setting a cookie is very simple"
<TigerSun> <INSERT 150 LINES OF C CODE> |
#28302 (91/241) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the feeling. |
#28310 (80/238) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<antiuser> man
<antiuser> flash is like sméagol
<antiuser> the first time you get a bit worried
<antiuser> the second time it's all nice
<antiuser> then the third time it wants to KILL MASTER |
#28298 (100/328) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children |
#28318 (74/250) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<spiregrain> the worst thing about irc is that delay between finding the server, and getting logged in. Why does it happen? What can I do?
<spiregrain> the second worst thing is dumb questions like the above |
#28325 (49/267) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Net Force7000> I am the Matrix.
<ChixLoveUnix> int joey[5][3];
<ChixLoveUnix> No, I am the matrix.Comment: C++ humour.
|
#28307 (27/259) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sumez> Did you fight Ozma?
<Darth-Phenom> Maybe...who's Ozma?
<Sumez> The bad-ass optional big boss
<Darth-Phenom> Where is he?
<Gaffa> Right behind you! |
#28316 (23/245) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Destruya> We were in Ashland, VA, coming back from unloading my shit into a rented SUV coming back from school
<Destruya> And there's this van, California tags in this McDonalds we pull into
<Destruya> Ashland is only good for three things
<Destruya> Bathroom, food, gas
<Destruya> Nothing else
<Destruya> Perfect rest stop
<Destruya> Anyway, these stereotypical fuckin' Westies are in this Central VA bumfuck McDonalds asking for Cappucinos at 11:30 at night.
<Veen> heh, fucks.
<Destruya> Then, when the black lady at the counter recommends coffee, they ask where the nearest Starbucks is.
<Destruya> It's like, SHIT, people - get a fucking Coke and move on with life.
<Destruya> Caffeine is caffeine |
#28305 (17/289) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Harpana_Rocks> I won, I won! I beat the toilet...I was finally able to wipe my ass without getting any on me! |
#28321 (4/170) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fat-Burrick> icq is a sentient being that wants to take over the world by pissing me off |
#28313 (1/221) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
phusnikin> that sucked. compiled my executable into my src and i have no
backup, damm bash tab completion :\\ |
#28295 (0/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Geezus-stick> irc has to be the greatest achievement of mankind |
#28291 (0/224) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LkAway1> I go up to random people on the street and tell them, "MrT loves you."
<DigDug> Lk is MrT's pimp daddy
<wwmrtww> he gives me fun prizes |
#28299 (-2/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf" |
#28311 (-1/211) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Clockwork-Orange> my computer might not have the greatest fucking shit in the world, but garunteed, Roxy would still rock all your worlds and she still gets the job done even with her 5.25 inch floppy you ass gappers |
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