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#22621 (2542/3092) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad OF JuST the LIGHt |
#24030 (336/486) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid |
#22140 (256/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<seg2> irony is calling yourself a genius and misspelling it. |
#25503 (230/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jonathans> brooklyn rules
<jonathans> some dude just leaned on his horn in his old italian mobster car and it played the theme to the godfather |
#21423 (312/498) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* sleepysid is away: brb getting married |
#24174 (313/501) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
<Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it
* Gnell|CHAMPION is away |
#25460 (278/472) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!"). |
#21982 (256/436) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
PunkRocks64: we watched Matrix 1 in chemistry today.
PunkRocks64: and you know how Morpheus says the beginning of the end was the creation of AI?
EventuallyAdonis: what about it?
PunkRocks64: he says basically that the what started the machines taking over was human's fascination with AI..
PunkRocks64: and.. have you noticed that like 99% of our population is infatuated with American Idol .........
EventuallyAdonis: that's deep |
#24634 (235/397) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(punct) fuck off!
(james_) I'll sue you
(punct) for?
(james_) Insulting me
(punct) you dumbass, you can say this shit on irc
(james_) Really?
(punct) hello
(james_) You're a fucking white bitch blow me!
(punct) you're learnin fast
(james_) Thanks |
#26380 (255/437) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool |
#21595 (219/379) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crembo> in UT2k3, killing 6 people is "Monster kill".
<Crembo> in Quake3, it's "Excellent".
<Crembo> in CS, it's "Kicked by console". |
#23809 (239/417) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Linds> So how old are you pple
<sh-> i'm 52
<Linkadmin> I'm 12
<Linkadmin> (soon)
<sh-> and we're in love and there's nothing wrong with it |
#25462 (234/410) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<VgameT> hahahaha, aol just froze
<Mooseka> VGAME THAT'S LIKE SAYING DROWNING VICTIMS ARE WET |
#24579 (170/302) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<raluka> I live in Southwest Europe
<JaniceF> New Mexico?
<raluka> Southwest Europe hun
<JaniceF> Oh you mean Brazil?
<JaniceF> I know! Lichenstein?
<raluka> Spain. |
#22280 (180/329) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MegamanX2K> C'mon, of course Bush is going to play it safe with Korea. Would YOU want to have your legacy tarnished by the world's bloodiest Zerg Rush? |
#25438 (157/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Seph flies herself to the north pole
<Seph> -her +him
<fluffy> well that certainly clears up a lot |
#22719 (178/330) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
marty> So, what happened, did you date her? What was she like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way. She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of monsters. |
#22005 (207/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wan1234> is it possible cd rom can read dvd?
<wan1234> can cd rom read dvd
<wan1234> can cd rom read dvd?
<@URLofLocksley> wan1234: No.
<DaDuck> wan1234, only after its sprinkled with magic pixie dust
<slideshow> wan1234 yes it can, but you have to leave chat to make it work properly
<wan1234> but my friend told me that it can be done by flashing the cdrom bios
<Splodge`> You could always take the motor, circuitry and laser from a dvd drive and put it into a cd-rom.....
<Splodge`> Your friend is a dork wan1234
<DaDuck> lol Splodge`
<DaDuck> magic pixie dust is simpler
<Splodge`> pixie dust is region coded
<slideshow> lol
<slideshow> you can get a pixie dust crack though
<wan1234> ooo
<wan1234> where i can can get that?
<Splodge`> hahaha |
#25506 (170/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AtrocityX> is there a virus that can make your computer lag? heh
<DeskLazer> it's called AOL |
#25094 (189/379) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ljl> Linux Barbie - comes with a Tux keychain, a set of Distro on CDs, a set of linux stickers for the computer, and be dressed in a linuxy t-shirt and jeans
* val wants Linux Barbie to have recorded messages
<ljl> "lets build a custom kernel"
<val> "Compiling is easy!"
<jennyw> Of course, Linux Barbie would be programmable. But you'd have to figure out how to connect to her over a serial connection without X.
<jennyw> Then there'd be skipper, her little script kiddie sister ...
<ljl> skipper: "I 0wn3d dads Windoze box, and I can print his checks" |
#25452 (153/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Richie> What fanbois don't realise is that when they speak japanese they sound like the 12 year old girl they learnt it from |
#26390 (161/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(icequeen) ok justin I am moving in with you.
(icequeen) benny find me a job, justin i can live there
(benny) i will find you a job as an underdesk relaxation therapist |
#22069 (140/294) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<moijk|mpr> Our sales guy have become a alcoholic, is that a bad sign?
<Jumper> depends, does he sell more, less or equal?
<moijk|mpr> well, he have yet to show up for work for the last week so I guess that ought to tell his current preformance.
<moijk|mpr> but he is 32, lives with his mother in the basement, has no girlfriend, hangs out in pubs where the teenagers hang out (18 limit) and drives his mothers car. i would have started drinking if i were him too :) |
#22039 (108/240) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Be`CooL> cum pot sa fac o redirectionare la o pagina de pe alta pagina ?
<RoBorg> <meta http-equiv="refresh" content="10; url=http://my.com"> 10=10 seconds, url=http://my.com is optional
<RoBorg> thats a guess as I have no idea what you actually said... |
#25552 (164/376) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<saint_> i should masturbate
<saint_> but like
<saint_> my sister lives with me
<Agent_069> hahaha
<Agent_069> who needs masturbation when you have a sister? :P |
#23528 (109/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Task-> i used to be able to say "i like stick my fingers in my arse" in swedish, then i realised it wouldnt help me in a conversation |
#25446 (126/302) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phx> crap
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian |
#22078 (98/232) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ElDuderino> I heard having sex with women made you gay
<Shai-Gar> is that why youve never tried it mark? |
#24387 (123/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Sortova> Heh - Singapore has at least 58 WiFi access points
< Sortova> http://www.wifinder.com
< jbroomeLUG> Sortova: $5 sucky, sucky *and* wireless! Score!
< Sortova> I did *not* just read that |
#26399 (133/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WTM1> http://bash.cx/?19872 !!!!!!!!!!!!
<WTM1> car humor brings tears to my eyes
<+[Shinji]> so does anal sex, but that dosen't make it funny |
#24959 (90/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Stan casts Kill on InfoServ.
<Stan> *422 damage*
* Stan has quit IRC (valinor.sorcery.net kechara.sorcery.net)
* Kara has quit IRC (valinor.sorcery.net kechara.sorcery.net)
<A-C> Good kill |
#21411 (111/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dr_Ian> WHY ARE ALL AUSTRALIANS OBSESSED WITH THE APOCALYPSE?!
<ShinAkuma> i dont know?
<Bu||et> Kola says its because Kangaroo's smoke shoes
<Dr_Ian> I think its because australia would look exactly the same if a nuke it hit it |
#26389 (93/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Laurie) My ports are gettin more action than I am today. |
#26385 (76/214) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
([m1]) so there i was, at the porcelain boardroom, initiating another
"round of layoffs"
([m1]) and the laptop battery warning popped up
([m1]) never wiped and washed so fast
([m1]) the things i do to keep from losing a network connection |
#26388 (79/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<<< [Lolita!~prada@208.20.58.194] i like putting my pairs of socks
togehter after i wash them, it's like playing mahjong |
#23956 (90/282) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kharma> I just found out that XP is the Christian monogram made from the first two letter of the Greek word for Christ.
<kharma> Just another sign that Bill Gate's is trying to be God. |
#21281 (75/254) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
PegLegPete PM: yo
PegLegPete PM: you there?
PolishPWRHaus: yea
PegLegPete PM: come over
PegLegPete PM: we're playing poker
PolishPWRHaus: nice
PolishPWRHaus: what time
PegLegPete PM: when everybody gets here
PolishPWRHaus: so when should i head over
PegLegPete PM: ... |
#22081 (74/268) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Juggs> ahaha the funniest shit is when i took 3 e's at once at a lan
<Juggs> and as far as i was concerned i could slow down time |
#21415 (57/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yuuhi> i found some info
<Yuuhi> whooooooo!
<OdinBomber> ah..ok
<OdinBomber> must have been my chi transcending the internet
<Yuuhi> =D
<Silverwolf> Whenever my chi transcends the internet, I need to clean up afterwards XD |
#25540 (49/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NewFoundGonads> "if gamecubes could give head.. girls would be in a shit load of trouble" |
#19762 (61/314) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TantricJediSquizzle> Everyone wants me.
<Mal-23> You don't want you.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Prove it.
<Mal-23> Look at your cock.
<TantricJediSquizzle> Way ahead of you.
<Mal-23> Good, can you fit your mouth around it?
<TantricJediSquizzle> Yes.
<Mal-23> Then there you have it. You don't -want- you. You -have- you. Case dismissed. |
#21278 (59/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
afkun: "funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?"
Pixie7186: wtf?
Pixie7186: i dont get it...
afkun: ally, look at your CD-Rs.
afkun: what do they say?
afkun: now scroll up and re-read the statement.
Pixie7186: hahahaha
Pixie7186: thaats so funny
Pixie7186: lol |
#20147 (39/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<crazy> you just made a huge withdrawl from the first bank of fag. |
#22052 (15/317) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TeePeeJah> fuck , I just gave myz elf a huge paper cut opening a hate letter I sent to myz elf :-(
<TeePeeJah> brb plaster required |
#22107 (7/209) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<alpenwrk> deskmod goes down more than a fucking whore
<alpenwrk> deskmod is felating the internet
<The-Jim> but deskmod doesn't give you herpes. |
#21561 (4/186) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[16:13] <goatasaur> ahh, porn
[16:24] <goatasaur> what were we talking about? |
#26376 (3/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pupazz_> What American Pie Has Taught Us : No need to date if your mother bakes pie. |
#21559 (3/203) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EnergyWasp> or its your dumbass self's fault.
<EnergyWasp> having a white background, i cant say it surprises me
<Kill_Me> what color is yours EnergyWasp?
<Paralysis> blacker than Michael Jackson, KM
<Paralysis> er, shit |
#25459 (0/254) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JP G
<Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN? |
#21560 (-1/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mogli_the_freak_> k
<mogli_the_freak_> I know you ppl must get this all the time...
<mogli_the_freak_> But, to start things off, I am not a lamer, or lazy and yes, I've done the work.
<mogli_the_freak_> But..
<mogli_the_freak_> I'm looking for an exploit for IRC.
<mogli_the_freak_> Can anyone here direct me to some info or anything? |
#26395 (-2/328) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(ogre) fuckin bitchass muthafuckin cunt
(ogre) < - rap star |
#21195 (-1/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Perdition] I'm trying to host on my microwave, what distro should I use?
[Perdition] so, when I cook, will linux host faster? |
#25033 (-2/274) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ChimeriX^mIRC> you maked an mistake.... |
#26387 (-1/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(zaggy) xc-ui0xcijlk1`~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111.
(zaggy) quoe TAHAT, BITCH
(zaggy) OH hgofd
(zaggy) I'm staring sto sloose motor control |
#26386 (0/186) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(n909) the neat thing about the goatse.cx ascii
(n909) is that you don't have to paste the whole thing
(n909) you could just paste like the asshole only, for example
(n909) or just the cocknballs
(n909) you can be selective about the anatomy
(n909) whereas with the .gif, it's all or nothing |
#26377 (-1/209) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<issuez> heh
<issuez> an escalater collapsed at Coors field just like, 20 minutes ago
<issuez> AND NO
<issuez> I WAS NOT AT COORS FIELD TONIGHTComment: #geekissues
|
#21425 (-2/195) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<punk_arse> # Appears as DAN.
<+Mysterious> # Appears as Osama Bin Laden.
<@Remorse> # Appears as BRUCE
<+Mysterious> # Appears as /con/con
* punk_arse (zuoa@vw20777.alphalink.com.au) Quit (Write error to punk_arse, closing link) |
#24391 (-5/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Evil_One> you know you're a geek when instead of repeating something in detail on irc
<Evil_One> you send an md5sum summary instead :/ |
#26379 (-6/240) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-Zophar- [Ops/#emu]: WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I TOLERATE THAT COCKSUCKER'S SHIT
-Zophar- [Ops/#emu]: I WAS HERE WHEN DC EXISTED, AND I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO PUT UP WITH PEOPLE'S COMMENTS
-Zophar- [Ops/#emu]: now starts the fucking terror of zophar like you have never known before
<Zophar> i don't think anyone is getting the scope of what i am saying
<Zophar> i am not tolerating shit from anyone anymoreComment: #emu
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