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#26234 (656/816) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
(jonathans) when i hit it
(jonathans) it will go "COW"
(orion) cows go moo |
#22756 (337/447) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah. i fuck you, and you don't even know I was there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem. |
#25625 (448/602) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!? |
#22238 (400/554) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh. |
#23688 (330/480) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Billthe4th> im am what we in the business call a 7331 h4x0r
<monged> its 1337......
<Billthe4th> im new to the business |
#24549 (320/484) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Otto> I froze up during a school play once
<Otto> Then I remembered what my teacher said
<Otto> "Imagine them naked!"
<Otto> So I did and I got a big hard on and ran off stage |
#19405 (318/480) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|Omen|> "Perl in a Nutshell 2nd Edition", 738 pages
<|Omen|> What the fuck kinda nutshell is that? Coconut? |
#26227 (263/397) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dooyod>: r u gonna put a drop down arrow beside the date picker?
<mreta>: I think that will make the form look ugly...
<dooyod>: so, your sacrificing ease of use for overall good looks???
<mreta>: yes, i think so.
<dooyod>: my friend, welcome to the next level of web development. i'm proud of ya' |
#24600 (282/432) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kak> Alereon you're a dumb fucking cunt thanks for your help i'm going to go commit suicide
<@Alereon> I love it when problems solve themselves! |
#24875 (279/427) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cody> what color is mango?
<Derian> #FF7646
<Cody> lol... dork |
#23513 (292/449) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened" |
#22200 (258/414) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Big_Mike> I hate Celine Dion. So much I refuse to spell her name correctly.
<TheMan649> you did spell her name correctly.
<Big_Mike> Did i?
<TheMan649> Yes.
<Big_Mike> Shit. |
#25475 (246/398) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<D4NG3R0U5> when a girl says 'blow me' what the fuck does she mean
<Ravenouse1> basically, she's telling you to suck her cock |
#25626 (286/488) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shmooo> i cant wait to see my gf tonite
<shmooo> im gonna eat her sweet pussy
<gortho> we're happy for you
<shmooo> it's like sweet strawberries
<psmylie> what?!?
<psmylie> ...
<psmylie> you're a virgin, aren't you? |
#24170 (276/488) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[17:12] <SA-PYRoMaNiaC> Lesbians shouldn't be allowed to use dildos. They've made their choice. |
#23831 (192/336) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|404notfound> Kazaa is like playing Russian roulette, only with porn instead of bullets. |
#21542 (201/355) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<froggie> is 7stray4,duCks" a good password?
<gregh> no, because you just pasted it in #distributed |
#23529 (168/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LucyFerr> credit cards are like hot psycho chicks. Always fun to fuck but sooner or later you just know you are gonna pay dearly
<DocGonzo> but unlike hot psycho chicks, if you put pictures of your credit card on the internet, you'll LOSE money |
#21615 (179/323) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[20:10] * Aery has joined #pvponline
[20:10] <Aery> boobs boobs boobs
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] <Treen> yay!
[20:10] <Aery> boobs
[20:10] <Trax> .
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] * Aery has left #pvponline
[20:10] <Treen> She had an entire night's conversation in under a minute. |
#25619 (176/320) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<clay> if i take an open wire from my motherboard and stick it in a cup of water will it do anything
<jonathans> yes
<jonathans> it will heat the water |
#25179 (186/346) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less} |
#24947 (168/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-Skandranon- Sorry for this services thing. Some 13-year old never-get-a-date is flooding us again. Perhaps once he realizes there are two types of people (boy people, and girl people) he'll find something else to do. [global message, all replies will be fed to some animal] |
#22739 (146/282) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Airlea> If I was trying to hit on you AJ, I'd just use my frying pan.
<FBMachine> woah, foreplay and cooking at the same time |
#25624 (178/356) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(timmo) her boobies are fake
(timmo) ;[
[nyisles] hmm
[nyisles] are they photoshopped
[nyisles] ?
[Guilty] No
[Guilty] They're implants |
#23052 (164/333) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
--> BEAR_FROM_WILD_WILD_RUSSIA (~quickchat@212.73.101.ZH73=) has joined #myrmidia
<BEAR_FROM_WILD_WILD_RUSSIA> bmbnm
<-- BEAR_FROM_WILD_WILD_RUSSIA (~quickchat@212.73.101.ZH73=) has left #myrmidia
* MMN-o is stunned
<MMN-o> What the hell was that?
<Elleomea> haha |
#25629 (155/317) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@BhodiZzZz> cevik: help, my code won't compile and I don't know what's wrong!
BhodiZzZz (bhodi@dda9aaf9.net.hmsk) is now known as Bhodi
<cevik> well.. part of your problem appears to be that you were asleep when you wrote it.. ;) |
#26262 (136/278) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* fungiform types like a bastard
[Painless] how does one 'type like a bastard'... does one just omit the words 'mom' and 'dad' ? |
#25628 (141/297) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on holidays, not knowing there was no school |
#23932 (144/304) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Claire> My sis brought me a can of Vanilla coke
<Claire> ...odd...I wasnt aware vanilla tasted like soap |
#26247 (150/322) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Boogaleeboo> I'm sorry your budget only allows for 5 dollars to spend on hookers
<Boogaleeboo> And I'm sorry your ugliness only allows sex with hookers
<Joe_> How much does yours allow, Boog?
<Boogaleeboo> Silly
<Boogaleeboo> You don't PAY
<Joe_> Ah, the confessions of a Boston rapist.
<Boogaleeboo> It's not rape if you kill them first
<Joe_> Touche |
#21579 (144/316) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* typeoghoul MY INTERNET KID GOT A 1200 ON HER SAT"S
<Predddan> internetkid?
<typeoghoul> yes
<Predddan> like a tamagotchi?
<typeoghoul> human
<Predddan> like a human tamagotchi u control over the internet?
<Predddan> kewl.. |
#20364 (137/305) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@daleth> so it really did lead to "..." :)
<@lovelace> Yep.
<jbroomeLUG> is that morse code for humping? :) |
#23609 (134/307) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Iori> Caerbannog, You might be a RedNeck if, Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
<Khamul> Iori, you might be a Retard if, You have a really Retarded Script that has no idea about, punctuation and Capitalisation |
#18424 (134/315) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fryth> TV is boring, too uninteractive
<Fembot> use a remote |
#23976 (102/247) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[+BIoNYX]: asking me if i'd go to an 8 o'clock class for any reason but a test or quiz is like asking me if i'd rather eat a piece of pizza or cut my nuts off with scissors |
#26266 (117/291) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet |
#26253 (107/269) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Griff) dalnet has a small man who visits each user's home in turn,. he is like santa, but he is the nickname man
(Griff) if you have been a good boy or girl he will let you register your nick
(Griff) if you have been bad he will make you Guest34535
(Griff) he's St. NickServ |
#22478 (84/226) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nicolle14> whats the point of being a techie dork if you don't dload porn?
<MrWabam> someday... my techie dorkness will find a techigodess who is impressed by the size of my hd and want to bang me
<MrWabam> and she'll be real, and hot.... Hotter than my CPU
<nicolle14> What's a "CPU"? |
#21072 (93/252) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eva> hey when will i be able to buy the matrix phone
<eva> cause i am definetly buying that
<Potrod> What's the matrix phone?
<NuttO> It's an ugly piece of shit made by Samsung
<Potrod> What does it look like?
<NuttO> Imagine a brick, now keep imagining a brick and call it a phone.
<eva> whatever dudes, youll all be green with jealousy from all that matrix code running down your face while i clik it open and ask my mom to borrow the car |
#24884 (92/254) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Kristina] some geek on slashdot insulted me because I commented that geeks only like to do fun programming not boring stuff...he insulted me then told me I should do boring stuff to give something back to the OSS community...and he did it all under the name "anonymous coward"...got, slashdotters are so...lame
[josiejaz] and you're one of them.... |
#22893 (106/291) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ch33ky> is this the internet? |
#22317 (98/270) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH |
#19925 (85/243) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rodent> What? No pr0n on /.? What the hell is that site popular for?! |
#26265 (91/261) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind" |
#22024 (86/264) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MrWhippy> it's raining, it's pouring.. the old man is... HOLY SHIT HE IS BEATING OFF! FFS THATS HORRID! |
#26264 (81/259) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* jitspoe feels fembot... fuzzy
* Fembot shaved
<jitspoe> not there you didn't |
#20685 (79/283) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
blade|uk: oh no
blade|uk: another AOLer
DONTGIVEU: uh yes
DONTGIVEU: who cares im not a bad aoler
DONTGIVEU: i do good for this room
blade|uk: room
blade|uk: haha
blade|uk: typical AOLer
blade|uk: it's called a channel |
#22108 (69/245) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<K8> well the theme was aincient history
<josh_ip_te> oh,
<josh_ip_te> and you went as a viking?
<K8> and my friend had some home made costumes
* josh_ip_te wouldve gone as a black michael jackson |
#22984 (51/219) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DigitlDud> which button here calls your parents to pick you up? |
#23974 (57/251) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@GKB) How the hell do I idle? |
#23973 (45/206) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Selphie> oic I remember Cherice but she does not remember me~
<@Cherice> yea i think i do. it's just nothing good |
#22102 (43/217) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<emte> yeah its hard on lower intellegened people |
#24926 (47/253) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gellehsak> all the french kids at my school
<gellehsak> look at porn all day
<gellehsak> they're like
<gellehsak> "HAW HAW HAW... LE PORNO EST TRES BIEN" |
#26249 (43/237) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in DC and it isnt good news for CS players
<Whisper> want to hear it?
<CJ> Sure
<Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking... |
#25622 (27/257) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints |
#25623 (21/253) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off |
#22333 (11/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jubei-> sup nigs
<kaihn[afk]> :o
<Jubei-> i mean..
<Jubei-> Hello fine gentlemen, how are you this fine morning? |
#23887 (7/231) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[ LTMasterPaladin ] btw, if u ever find a trojan stuck up your ass, it's compliments from me
[ +aperson ] OH GOD, ARE YOU GONNA PUT BACK ORIFICE IN MY BACK ORIFICE? |
#24340 (5/199) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Netsniper> God.. Im only 16 what the hell would I need penis enlargment pills for..
<^sWift> Netsniper -> As you said...your only 16
<^sWift> ;) |
#25569 (4/202) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head for money |
#22079 (-1/267) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nuts> You wouldnt kick the nuts, would you?
* Nuts were kicked by Dragon_Tear (I'm used to kick them.) |
#19063 (0/274) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trooper> we are l33t
* Trooper nickop@austnet.org identify davidrocks
<Trooper> That's was not good |
#26263 (-1/281) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<root66> I sell dvdrips of your mom putting on jeans! |
#26230 (0/260) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<L-3-3-7> i want to dump my gf
<L-3-3-7> i need to find a good way to do it
<sparc^_> maybe you could DoS her... or install back orifice on her box |
#25664 (-1/287) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Broken_La> there is no way to use PHP mysql functions to write and read from a local file?! That's insane. |
#22808 (-1/259) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DarthAndonuts> most people forget Penn is an Ivy League school
<bloop> because it's in Pennsylvania and nothing comes from Pennsylvania but crime and the amish |
#22595 (-1/221) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Friday> !quote *quotes*are*fucking*retarded*
<SweetJesus> (76) <Elfin> Quotes are fucking retarded. [Date: 03 Dec 2002] (1/1 matches found) |
#23101 (-1/211) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MSH> there's a "rape" function in the game?
<Ronin> no, it wasn't made by japanese |
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