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#20571 (444/579) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ArcticFox> uugh.. I wish I had food.. all I have left are fudgecicles.
<Falkon> How much health do they give?
<Falkon> ...I did not just say that.
<ArcticFox> ...
<ArcticFox> THEY GIVE ME JUST ENOUGH HP TO KICK YOUR ASS. |
#19725 (377/514) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<spritegoddess> I poked myself in the eye
<spritegoddess> while feeding myself cheetos.
<spritegoddess> I suck at life. |
#20838 (323/475) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TDO_Crips> IRC is just multiplayer notepad. |
#26215 (270/396) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two months.
[Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING
[Video] That's sad
[Ouija] i know
[Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique?
[Video] Release shit no one wants? |
#20844 (281/419) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<A-C> This is great...
<A-C> MS Spellchecker just told me to hyphenate mother-fucker. |
#19716 (258/400) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rendezvou> I want a monkey at home that jerks off and throws shit at people when I host parties at my house.
<`KArmA> Rendezvou: to take the strain off of having you do it? |
#18870 (234/378) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Peptis> i'll catch you guys later. i'll be gone until the 28th
<Peptis> gotta go home and pack
<Twinge> noooooooooooooooo
<Peptis> you going to miss me?
<Peptis> is that what the no was for?
*** Peptis has quit IRC (Vacation!)
<Twinge> no, I just dropped my bread buuter side down... |
#18816 (233/385) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
cyateon: unbore me.
tatsumio: *ziiiiiiip*
cyateon: oh baby!
tatsumio: Cd Wallet. SICKO
cyateon: I meant oh baby as in I like your cd wallet.
tatsumio: ...
tatsumio: You SICKO.
cyateon: IT'S A NICE WALLET
tatsumio: You son of a bitch.
cyateon: it holds a lot of cds!
tatsumio: Get off my buddy list. |
#26222 (204/348) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Will> etiolate... I'm afraid you can't get Conker.
<etiolate> har har
<etiolate> Will, I'm afraid you can't get erections
<MeanolMido> Impotence. Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings" |
#26218 (220/380) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo |
#25659 (235/409) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes. |
#20795 (208/362) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<arm> it says i have 3 ircs running when i can only see 2
<arm> when i go to task manager
<arm> now wich one is it... hmm
* arm (mattchoo86@h68-144-169-29.cg.shawcable.net) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer) |
#22361 (229/401) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<yoda> wouldn't it be easier to go and read the docs on the site?
<rataxis> yoda: dear oh dear. 13 perfectly spelled and punctuated words, when 4 letters would do. |
#26209 (224/394) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^KaMaG^> I always use "six letters long" cause the signup form said "Your password MUST be six letters long "! |
#26220 (244/430) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
<Dilbert> investors*
<Dilbert> i meant |
#18681 (211/374) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<xxFrogxx> Today when I was at the gym, I caught this dood checking out my weiner.
<Spazmatic> Did you like it?
<xxFrogxx> It was like, I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
<OriginalWheat> Yeap, youre gay |
#20141 (217/385) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Enigmatic_Lemur> Hmm whats a nice sophisticated term to put on a resumé for fast food cook.
<Drain> ...
<ZS|GTA3> ...
<Geno|Morrowind> Hamburger Helper
<ZS|GTA3> Ahahah.
<Drain> ahaha |
#19199 (238/425) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Phantom> I heard the funniest thing on DBZ today
<Phantom> "Having these balls makes me feel something approaching joy, I think. I want to caress them." --Frieza |
#26219 (207/379) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching. |
#25662 (210/392) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadarComment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
|
#19145 (188/353) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kinto> That totally sucked.
<Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
<Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
<Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL COOL J.
* Kinto starts rapping.
<Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
<Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants. |
#26213 (185/349) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;)
<DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it |
#20177 (169/333) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Measure> if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn
<eva> my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position
<waffle> eva: yeah, the jokes on him
<eva> shut up fag
<eva> IM NOT GAY |
#19634 (155/300) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
«°º°» Joins -- Guest9232023 [ Guest@DynastyNet-9315.dial.bright.net ]
<Guest9232023> hi
<X13> Hey.
<X13> :)
<Guest9232023> help me onto irc
<Guest9232023> how do i get on irc
<X13> You're on IRC.
<Guest9232023> o |
#20573 (150/292) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<asshat> I just chipped a tooth on one of my nuts
<asshat> fuck
<asshat> brb |
#18406 (147/299) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy |
#26223 (143/291) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@*
* Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it die.) |
#26216 (172/358) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :] |
#25617 (141/301) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ronwe> Why is it that every time I say something everybody runs to "bas"?
<Ronwe> wtf is bash
<viro|away> http://www.bash.org
* Ronwe goes
<Ronwe> oh fuck. |
#20037 (127/271) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lum_> From tomorrow through Labor Day, a U.S. holiday celebrated on September 3, jeans are fine for all non-customer situations, any day of the week.
<Loafman> Now, is that black jeans or all colors?
<Lum_> all colors
<Xeen> I say we push this as far as it will go.
<Lum_> I got some with no crotch
<Soulflame> ...
<Lum_> I'll wear those tomorrow
<Xeen> Ok, so not quite as far as it will go. |
#26210 (126/270) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Spike states that his wifey is having contractions about 15 min apart. so I need some fathers day presents.
<Pseudonym> You should be at the hospital instead of on IRC ¬¬
<Spike> well, we are waiting to go to the hospital till we get contractions 5 min apart
<Pseudonym> Ah
<Pseudonym> Sounds painful
<Pseudonym> <spike> QUICK LET ME TELL IRC ABOUT IT%@%#$^@#$#
* schmiddy` thinks of Spike and adds a new entry to "You might be an IRC addict if. |
#19296 (129/280) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Himeko> what does splitting dessert have to do with being gay
<RokChik> b/c
<RokChik> mostly only couples split desserts
<Himeko> hmmm
<Himeko> how about drinking from the same straw?
<RokChik> yep
<unity_> having sex?
<Himeko> damn
<Himeko> i'm gay |
#26217 (106/228) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> Deos anyone know where i can host a site that supports ASP for free?
<ApoIIyon> insecurehosts.com
<^{[Dr-Dre]}^> ok thanks |
#26212 (136/308) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen
<Frostlion> no it'sn't
<tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling |
#25658 (140/322) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<McMoo> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030617/ap_on_hi_te/downloadi ng_music
<McMoo> thanks, utah
<McMoo> "I'm interested," Hatch interrupted. He said damaging someone's computer "may be the only way you can teach somebody about copyrights."
<t|to> ;[
<t|to> somebody find out his IP |
#19049 (131/309) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NestyPoo> man
<NestyPoo> this d00d tried to get his hat from under a rollercoaster
<NestyPoo> one of those upside down rollercoasters
<NestyPoo> he got kicked by some women in a passing rollercoaster and he lost his head
<NestyPoo> the woman broke her foot and is suing for damages
<rhythm> savage
<rhythm> did he get his hat back
<Chalupa_J> well good hats arent exactly cheap |
#19082 (133/319) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<3vildr3@d> I hate gays
<3vildr3@d> Once I passed out at a party
<3vildr3@d> when I came to some guy was giving me a blowjob
<3vildr3@d> so I waited for him to finish, then kicked the shit out of him |
#26214 (131/319) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dekkon> SHE HAS DSL
<Killrbyte> Digital Subscriber Line?
<nyisles> is it from Speakeasy?
<Killrbyte> Tell her to get cable. Its faster.
<Dekkon> DICK SUCKING LIPS
<Dekkon> DAMN NERDS |
#19059 (106/258) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+f0dd|away> hrm, why did I choose a full format instead of a quickformat?
<+GoodScrat> This isn't the psychic network |
#18653 (118/292) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[ssinct] how do you spell the light sabre noise?
[quxx] bzhhzhhh
[crc1] phszzzzt
[quxx] zazazaza
[ssinct] sznnnnnnggggg sznnnggggggggg
[phantom1] cough cough |
#19462 (118/300) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hiko_Sejuro> Once again people if any of you are Overweight Please dont get offended from my hatred towards fatties
< Hiko_Sejuro> I ONLY HATE THE ONES WHO CANT WALK |
#25655 (102/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aphelion> dude this fuckin thing scared the shit out of me
<aphelion> flying around in my room
<aphelion> and then i was typing and i look down at the keyboard
<aphelion> and its crawling in front of me
<aphelion> fuckin had to lay the tai chi moves down on it
<aphelion> i hit it mid-air with a red herring magazine
<Flatline-> hahhhahah
<Flatline-> tai chi?
<Flatline-> you stretched at it?
<aphelion> ..
<Flatline-> my mom takes tai chi
<aphelion> im sure tai chi can be offensive too
<Flatline-> hahhahhahahha
<aphelion> :( |
#18551 (118/312) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@OlDirtyB> YOU NEED A GLASS OF STFU
<Splash> can you actually put that in a glass? |
#19200 (90/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<etiolate> i am a lil loose tonight
<etiolate> I had a brass monkey
<etiolate> which is rum, vodka, and OJ
<IQpierce> they should call it a White Bronco
<IQpierce> because all three of those things were probably in that car |
#24627 (89/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<brad> i was hoping for a friendly windows way, but i guess i'll look at that
<brad> ...sadly
<brad> ...with puppy dog eyes
<obscurity> Do you plan to give them back to the puppy afterwards?
<brad> hell no
<blue> i spy, with my little eye.. eye pie!
<brad> he can come and take 'em from me
<brad> if he's puppy enough |
#20109 (87/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CaptParis> M F Hyper
<HyperKinetic> CaptParis, I'm gonna shoot your chances at cybering me right away and tell you that I'm a guy |
#19417 (85/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rayne> what does /finger do anyway?
<ShadowZero> it pleasures |
#25616 (84/250) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Everdraed> We can't grab women's boobs? The terrorists have won!
<Luna`> can't let the terrorists win.
<Everdraed> Exactly Luna
* Everdraed grabs Skyday's boobs
<Skyday> :OP!!!!!! |
#20041 (81/252) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<taQo> have you ever died before? man that sucks.
<Prozzy> I died before. Luckily i was in a video game, so the main guy resurrected me. I came back to life 500 times.
<Prozzy> I was Super Jesus. |
#18340 (76/240) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Greylark> the phrase "pet peeves" is one of my pet peeves |
#18850 (76/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ieatrocks> you know what i love?
<ieatrocks> WWJD
<ieatrocks> fuckin a
<ieatrocks> because
<ieatrocks> its all about how you think of jesus
<ieatrocks> so when im in a pinch
<ieatrocks> i say WWJD
<ieatrocks> and i think of jesus as a dope slinging disco dancing pimp ass mofo
<ieatrocks> and then i do it
<ieatrocks> jesus likes to kick things, slack off, and insult people
<ieatrocks> he and i would get along great |
#20145 (89/307) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fortis> I'm only going to be able to fuck the "right girl"
<Fortis> I'm like
<Fortis> a romantic about it
<Fortis> but I say "fuck"
<Fortis> I'm all
<Fortis> "Yeah well I want to be in love before I crack the bitch's gash and pound her slush hole" |
#19038 (60/206) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Amira_nu> hey nothing wrong with loving G-d both ways
<Melech> loving god both ways sounds rather kinky |
#19218 (59/256) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheWolf> god damn my fuckin bowels
<TheWolf> i wish the doctors would hurry up and fix this
<TheWolf> brb
<TheWolf> gotta shit AGAIN |
#18659 (49/220) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** mellly (mellly@190warp179.newtel.com) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
*** mellly (mellly@190warp179.newtel.com) has joined #newfoundland
<melly> if i ever find out who 'peer' is i'm gonna destroy 'em for ALWAYS reseting my connection |
#20049 (52/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mitd> programmers don't have relationships that take hostages!
<japh> mitd: Yes they do.
<japh> <SO> Either you fuck me, or the dual Athlon MP 2000+ gets it!
<japh> <programmer> Alright! Alright! I'll fuck you. Just don't hurt Daisy! |
#18478 (43/243) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mr_sLacKeR> were do i find crosshair files and were do i instal them too?
<Jade-> the internet and your computer |
#18895 (34/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Swank> I really only use lisp these days for scriptin tools for emacs
<Fedaykin> you used the e word
<Swank> if my editor can't make me breakfast it isn't useful enough
<Fedaykin> ehehe
<Fedaykin> if my editor can make me breakfast, it's ass needs to be in the kitchen |
#20807 (25/211) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DocGonzo> heh, you know you do too much dvd ripping when you half expect that if you turn your head really fast you'll see macroblocks |
#19765 (16/228) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(bigAl[work]): heh tiwanese technical support;
(bigAl[work]): "We think the PPPoE mission set has been incompleted by the router thing" |
#20158 (11/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<repp> Why is the internet sucking so much today!!
<danm> repp: because it hates you?
<repp> that's IT! I've had ONE TOO MANY DISCONNECTIONS! Imma get my gun and teach that in'net a thang or 2 |
#18583 (7/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Vizspring: time for dual-computer action :-)
dustbuster3001: LOL
SqueakyEggo: lol
SqueakyEggo: ROFL
SqueakyEggo: computer on computer barely legal action, eh? |
#20060 (5/221) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* DeathCrow rests his head back on his shoulders and gargles Kain's eyelash
<KaiN`> .......
<DeathCrow> Ritual before rape.
<KaiN`> I'd say something if I could even comprehend that |
#25660 (4/288) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tito> why can't they make longer-lasting laptop batteries? ;[
<jestuh> why can't they make longer-lasting titos?
<tito> whats that supposed to mean
<jestuh> you know |
#24084 (0/388) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pengwuan> I USE TRAFFIC CONES TO FUNNEL HOT TAR UP MY ASSHOLE. |
#20503 (2/268) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point |
#18425 (2/280) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zimbu> (my DDR trips prove the point that a fat sweaty kid walking around a mall attracts alot of attention/flies) |
#26211 (0/296) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NIH> Dec 12 1917
<NIH> The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen dead.
<NIH> Worst... or best? |
#18603 (2/258) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RG-M1> i hope that if i ever get raped some day, it's by a monster with crazy penis tentacles, and penis fingers, too
<Tamahome> and that's one for the geekquotes page:P |
#18434 (0/294) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[Pull]-[a]-[Bong]> here guys lemme drop some knoledge on yuou |
#19776 (0/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tovart> That's nice, angel . My only real crit is that her nipple look too much like blow-up dolls' :p
<angel> by the way you have experience with blowupdolls ?
<Tovart> No, but I have experiance with baloons that look like phallic objects. :D |
#18875 (-1/274) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SK-lurk> I shall take this opportunity to reboot
*** SK-lurk has quit IRC (Quit)
<Racoon_Dog> I shall take this opportunity to poop on sk-lurk |
#26208 (-3/309) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Josho> man, i was cruising with this guy last night
<Josho> and some skunk was dead on the road and we all smelled it
<Josho> and my nigga jared starts taking huge snuffs
<Josho> "mmmmm man that smells so good, like real good skunk weed"
<Josho> fucking mexicansComment: #geekissues
|
#19079 (-1/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ByronicEye: i just got a spam from bigcocksex.com: Subj: Monster Pricks Pumping Tight Little Holes!
fraoch42: too bad it doesn't say what kind of monsters. |
#25614 (-1/233) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
<+MaNiAk> webcams
<+MaNiAk> since she has win95
<+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
<+Munkey> lol
<+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
<@Magus> eww
<+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off |
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