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#19808 (545/687) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<phunqe> I may have a problem
<xav> define "may" :P
<phunqe> Well... I'm painting chairs in my appartment, and 30 minutes ago or something I painted them with this transparent overcoat laque thing.
<phunqe> I think I just sat down on one of them without any clothes.
<xav> Why don't you just stand up then? And let's not talk about that no clothes thingie again ok?
<phunqe> I have a very hairy ass.
<xav> FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN... IT'S DRYING!!!!!
<phunqe> Ok, I'll try...
...
<phunqe> I'm stuck :(
<xav> shit happens :P
<phunqe> I sure hope not now... |
#25612 (362/520) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me |
#19955 (330/490) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
<Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
<Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there. |
#19414 (306/458) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[gossip] <Vellius> ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english |
#25609 (228/370) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drago> hey random, ya want to test something for me?
<random> if its long, tubular, made out of plastic and gently vibrates..... then no. But if its some code.. ok |
#25648 (224/364) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<davidc> did you know this year in #lost
<davidc> the word 'i' has been said 27407 times
<davidc> but capitalized 'I' only 2613
<davidc> we're all lazy and illerate
<davidc> illiterate
<davidc> proved my own point there |
#19892 (241/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Ruiner> i think i just woke up with a different pair of boxers on then the ones i went to sleep in |
#18682 (231/402) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TiGryphon> EvilJoven: This was taken into account when he was buried, and in fact, Darwin spins almost constantly in his grave.
<TiGryphon> THey hooked him to a generator, he powers manhattan |
#20071 (215/373) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Doughboy ponders
* Beryllium contemplates
* Doughboy slips Beryllium a penny
* Beryllium makes a template of the coin
* Doughboy turns Beryllium in for counterfiting
<Beryllium> I just wanted to open-source it! Money was meant to be free! |
#25613 (229/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably |
#20010 (191/340) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RangerRick> wireless means never having to say, "AFK, bathroom" |
#19710 (215/385) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
SpinalArchitect: OMG WUT R U GAY?
cochese04: Naw, I just sleep with guys to remind myself of how much I hate it |
#20009 (190/352) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrWatson> MISSING: 1 motivation. Last seen the night before the last exam. Small and unimpressive. Likes to wander. Answers to the name of 'Keith'. Please email DrWatson. |
#25610 (229/433) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG? |
#19912 (180/340) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[vV]nitrors4> my wife dont call me anymore
<[vV]nitrors4> she got a vibrator now
<[vV]nitrors4> how the funk am i gonna top a vibrator
<[vV]nitrors4> i cant jiggle my shit that fast |
#25601 (159/317) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^Tony_Soprano^> TommyT, we all knw that all girls on mirc are guys, all guys are guys, and little boys are FBI agents |
#25060 (157/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<timmo> you know this will be one of those things
<timmo> where when i die st. peter or whoever
<timmo> is looking over my sins and what not
<timmo> "so you told chris to, and i quote 'knock the bottom out of it and make sure she cant walk right tomorrow'?"
<timmo> "nah man it wasnt like that"
<arse-poet> and then he will show you the irc longComment: #geekissues
|
#19990 (142/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hawkeye^> the lead swinger is smooth
<`KArmA> ?
<Hawkeye^> singer even
<`KArmA> ahh
<Hawkeye^> sorry, I was reading up on wife swapping |
#24802 (151/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zenlunatic> is slashdot fully lynx/links/w3m compatible as far as posting, etc... goes? Also, does anyone known of software that will let me post from emacs?
<jwbozzy> oh good god. |
#18869 (140/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hoho> i wonder where skorn and iceman are
<hoho> i think they both got arrested by the FBI
<prophet> haaa
<NickBlasta> probably
<NickBlasta> jeep must have ratted cause of the 10gb of vids of jeeps mom skorn had
<isajeep> w...t...h?
<NickBlasta> oh hey jeep didnt see you there
<isajeep> *grumble* |
#25603 (131/277) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darth-Phenom> I remember in third grade I was taught that it's sinful to erase the word "God". But now I backspace "god" when I want to type "good" so frequently I'm obviously going to Hell. |
#18793 (160/342) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sweede> i've watched him do the following (it was on my lame p133 even) in Quake 1
<sweede> over a modem, in a hotel (28.8kps), join a server (max 50), number one player was at like, 30 or so..
<sweede> NO mouse, just keyboard,
<sweede> AND only using the nail gun,
<sweede> own3d everyone, the number one guy didnt get a frag after that..
<sweede> AND, he was typing to people as he was playing.
<setuid_w00t> beatz0rage
<Strike> sweede: and he was jerking off at the same time
<Strike> *fapfapfapfapfapfap* *frag* *fapfapfapfap* *type* |
#19677 (109/244) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[EFU]psyk0mantis^gK> BLINK BLOWS MEN COCKS
<+TlMMAH> as opposed to women cocks? |
#25604 (136/312) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot |
#25608 (111/253) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drugdown> I believe when you die its just like before you were born.
<Drugdown> ...nothingness.
<Fleebis> Like when you empty your recycle bin! |
#18766 (137/315) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<EmperorVlad[EE]> man skorp
<EmperorVlad[EE]> you know what
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i hate you with a passion
<EmperorVlad[EE]> like that really evil kinda hate
<fragk> love-hate relationships are funny ;)
<EmperorVlad[EE]> where they guy is taking up both lanes
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and u just want to run him off the road
<EmperorVlad[EE]> into the little school children
<EmperorVlad[EE]> and like him flip over a canyon
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but not die
<EmperorVlad[EE]> but just lay there in pain
<EmperorVlad[EE]> for about a month or so
<EmperorVlad[EE]> cause i would shoot anyone that came near u to help
<EmperorVlad[EE]> yeah
<EmperorVlad[EE]> i love to hate skorp :)
<fragk> ...
<fragk> you may now kiss the bride |
#19521 (108/252) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<winmutt> on the brighter side of things the waitress t the bar last nite gave me her phone number... might as well have read "this coupon is good for a free fuck" |
#19865 (124/300) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<strlen> vw buses rock.
<gibichung> i don't think the buses rock on their own |
#18744 (112/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Breianna> no useless profanity?
<Breianna> oh fuck |
#18801 (124/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kint> King Quest :)
<Kint> OPEN DOOR
<Kint> LOOK SWORD
<Kint> FUCK GNOME IN ASS |
#20113 (159/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<scabb> I AM AN OBESE AMERICAN.
<scabb> AN AMERICAN, IN OTHER WORDS
<scabb> I'M SCARED OF CAFFEINE!
<scabb> ARGH! THE COFFEE WILL GIVE ME HEART ATTACKS!
<scabb> THE LARD THAT I EAT WON'T, BUT COFFEE WILL
<scabb> 17 BIG MACS! BUT HOLD THE COFFEE! CAFFEINE GIVES ME HEART ATTACKS! |
#19596 (124/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Q> Verily I say unto thee: Whomsoever quoth "I am a hottie" on the internet, doth lie unto thee. |
#19963 (116/290) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<deggie> I just 0wned a .jp!
<sacrine> damn you are elite :|
<eSDee> congrats
<deggie> yeah I know, can I ask you guys something?
<sacrine> do we have a choice?
<deggie> ok, how can I see what the ip address is of a site?
<eSDee> omg
<sacrine> omfg |
#25611 (105/273) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash |
#25602 (93/255) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LilGCube740-> im not an idiot i just dont like things that are too comlicated |
#25607 (90/252) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-= fortezza] if I push my honda over a cliff, how fast will it get to 60mph?
-= x1bncwn] the same speed as the viper
-= x1bncwn] :P |
#25606 (87/261) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you. |
#20121 (35/228) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pulse-> can someone explain me? :p
<@GoodScrat> [09:25] <GoodScrat> no one can explain what you are |
#19929 (29/259) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Khrath> baz is just jealous that i married a chic thats only 4'11", and it makes my 4" dick look like its 11" |
#19992 (18/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Leimy> I would have thought apple would have called the kernel
<Leimy> "Sir Quigley Topper Middle Bottom's Fantabulastic Contrapulaption"
<RangerRick> it has to be acronymorific if it is to be oft repeated =)
<RangerRick> if not, it will be acronymorifified shortly thereafter
* RangerRick enjoys making up new wordulations
<Leimy> Henrietta Pussycat from Mr. Rodgers calls the kernel " Meow, meo meow kernel meow" |
#19812 (10/206) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<whitelightning> suck my nipples
<teh-kitteh> WL: huh?
<BlackIce> wl: ask geo
<teh-kitteh> he's at work though iceh :)
* whitelightning runs off for Geo
<whitelightning> wow!
<whitelightning> he's got a mouth like a hoover
<BlackIce> wl
<BlackIce> that's not geo
<BlackIce> that's a hoover |
#25605 (6/276) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@lucid> good warez comes to those who wait ;) |
#19193 (5/265) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shinj> I'm more of a sexual, er... Monkey.
<Shinj> I'm not sure why, I just like monkeys. |
#19809 (3/246) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* crikket stabbs x10 ads in the face
<Grue> Where're you getting x10 ads from? I get no ads. Bwahaha! \o/
<crikket> blah, i even have IE set them to restricted...
<Nikaji> hehe grue @ link
<Grue> But there is a price!
<crikket> prolly have to restrict the doonesbury site to keep x10 from popping up
<crikket> lol grue, your popup killer is adware isnt it? |
#19344 (2/268) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tac0> the bumpy road to silky smooth balls begins now! afk! |
#19685 (-1/394) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GnuVince> Suck my ballz!
<GnuVince> And lick my ass!
<GnuVince> And bring me beer
<GnuVince> and water
<GnuVince> and coffe
<GnuVince> and sex
<GnuVince> errr
<GnuVince> forget sex |
#25649 (0/288) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #honda
* Topic is 'text, avalanche/tsunami, join/part, ident/host flooders under investigation by irc operators.' |
#19964 (0/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Marudek> shitty
<Marudek> my game doesn't load any textures on a voodoo3 :~(
<GoodScrat> more proof you suck |
#19926 (0/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cevik> just because I spend 8 hours a day there sucking men off for 2 dollars a shot doesn't make it my house |
#20127 (-1/319) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@drew> bigger...
<@drew> longer..
<@drew> and uncut.
<@drew> bah, i just explained a russian. |
#19810 (0/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
** Miszou tattoes PLUR (size bigass) on wiq's and phx's backs
<@phx> eeek
<@phx> dude
<@phx> what does mine say |
#25646 (-1/295) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chrono-X> well I dont LIVE in the ghetto but I go to the ghetto almost daily
<Chrono-X> for my sport
<rayjiano> ghetto bowling?
<Chrono-X> no its a sport where I beat up mexicans. |
#19915 (-1/271) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+[vV]Netsquash> my penis has a built in alarm clock |
#19899 (0/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
slurpee: dude, if i can screw jenn as a fantasy then there's a fat garbage bag of herb next to the bed on my yacht |
#20072 (-2/251) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<WaG27> hey all..what are some free linux os'? |
#19995 (-1/225) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<darrend> HOT DAMN I AM FUCKING SPIKED ON COFFEE THE BEAN HAS GOT ME STRATOSPHERIC AND BY GOD I GOT THE GRIN OF LUCIFER STORMING THE GATES YEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWW
<snadra> that ought to scare away the office chatter ladies
<darrend> maybe i'll spear them with my quivering dreamtime spirit phallus
<darrend> it extends from my belly button to my third eye and hangs at a 45 degree angle about 3 feet |
#19545 (-4/217) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cornbread> Fear my cock of +12 inch
<Grif> That's a pretty big rooster. I'd be scared.
<Grif> In fact, I'm scared that this giant rooster is on its way to kill me right........ now. |
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