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#18431 (325/491) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25" |
#20115 (341/521) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Iago is still unsure that he's ready for a LTR
<JtHM> Lesbian Toddler Rave?
<JtHM> no one's ready for that.
<Iago> Long term relationship
<JtHM> I'm mildly disturbed that Lesbian Toddler Rave was the first thing that sprang to mind when I saw LTR |
#19467 (292/446) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Lotach: earlier today at work, I took some confectionary sugar and laid it out in a thin line, then left a straw next to it and walked away |
#19794 (266/434) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
GOBDOME123: What happened?
TythePope: I called your ass.
GOBDOME123: My ass didn't ring. |
#20787 (322/582) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<who2> why does everyone hate me because i'm jewish :(
<sinistron> i know how ya feel my grandfather died in a concentration camp
<who2> really?
<sinistron> yeah he fell off the guard tower |
#18873 (181/381) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<dave2> BEING SEVEN IS SO LONELY
<dave2> I CAN'T BAG ANY CHICKS BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE COOTIES |
#19123 (162/350) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<bec> whats the temperature up there in canada?
<Jonathan`> it's about 34 celcius right now
<bec> Really? Here we go by degrees its 87 here
<Jonathan`> Holy fuck lol! you americans |
#18756 (126/276) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<FiZi> I WANT YOU TO CALL ME
<FiZi> JUST SO I CAN SAY "OH HELLO MR. TROLL FAG! YOUR MATURE!" and then hangup on YOU
<WO-Booz> it'd be funny if you actually make spelling errors when you speak, too |
#19068 (100/216) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LightYear> I would just get a cellphone recharger for the A/C
<|majik|> well
<LightYear> they are cheap if you know where to look.
<|majik|> the one i have sucks
<LightYear> or you can get a 13.5 volt power supply and hooched that to the adapter..
<|majik|> it pissed me off that it i smashed it ;x
<LightYear> oh smashing isn't really good for electronics.
<LightYear> although I have fixed smashed things before.
<LightYear> go buy a new one.
<LightYear> sometimes I have told customers that... like when something is crap I'll remove a screw from the back and hand it to the customer and say "okay, this is good, replace everything else" |
#19622 (142/325) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+Straylight> im trying to decide if i should go see road to perdition tonight
<+Straylight> any thoughts?
<@DrRabidMonkey> whats the alternative?
<+Straylight> sitting home in my underwear, trying to see if I can jack off more than 4 times in an hour.
<+Straylight> maybe i can combine the two, if the ushers dont catch me |
#19390 (131/313) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mysterious> hmmmm
<Mysterious> midnight
* Mysterious turns into a pumpkin :\ |
#18937 (132/319) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<khalek> can't you shell out into the real world?
<khalek> er internet rather
<khalek> note to self internet != real world |
#18711 (108/259) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<smg-neut> jnine7101p31@cg.yu
<smg-neut> 3 foot telescoping demon cock.......CHECK
<smg-neut> ..wtf..
<smg-neut> Other people get virii, but I'm the lucky recipient of emails about 3 foot telescoping demon cocks. |
#19356 (103/248) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
X25 subnet: you know what i realized as i was rebooting
X25 subnet: if it wasn't for the yellow light bulb and his daily tips
X25 subnet: i wouldn't know shit about computers |
#18874 (106/262) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mikerosoft666>: CILF, car i'd like to fuck.
<ciduli>: yeah , right up the muffler, hehe.
<mikerosoft666>: well i was thinkin put it in the intake so it sucks on it.
<ciduli>: ewww, you sick fuck >:-0, youve actually thought about this!!!! |
#18735 (136/344) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
NickGXZ: I got waken up
NickGXZ: my sister said to me:
NickGXZ: "Haha...you had your hand up your ass"
NickGXZ: *sniffs hand*
NickGXZ: sure enough it smelled like ass. |
#21600 (110/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Casper> I gotta shit..
<Casper> But I'm lazy.
<wex> same here
<wex> im at 65% shit level
<wex> 100% is when i shit my pants
<Phucker> haha
<Casper> I'm at like 73%
<Casper> and rising
<Casper> (I'm eating) |
#19371 (108/278) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<xpander> yeah it's starting to get bright ouside here
<xpander> or maybe that's monitor glow |
#18986 (104/297) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Yukanojo> <kjustice> if everyone was constipated all the time, life would be like DBZ! Raaaagh! Urrrrrgh! |
#19338 (67/211) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
PeaceKeeperKate> woah PKD your popular
PKDainichi> Yep. Well, if by "popular", you mean "easy". ;) |
#19478 (84/278) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Straylight hate hate HATES Verizon ads
<+Straylight> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
<+Straylight> FUCK YOU THEN |
#20867 (71/231) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh |
#19205 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MafiaItaliana> do you remember the first time you got head?
<chrystopher2001> Yeah...
<MafiaItaliana> how long did it take for him to cum?
<chrystopher2001> shit...i lasted a long time
<MafiaItaliana> bet your mouth got tired eh?
<chrystopher2001> huh? wait a minute... |
#18884 (83/289) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
·bdjuf· Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
·bdjuf· Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
·bdjuf· "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?" |
#19301 (63/248) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<deimos> i'm rereading brave new world and 1984
<deimos> so i can figure out the proper way to act in this new mccarthism
<Twid> rat out all your friends |
#19306 (44/234) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<blm07> i blocked that bitch
<Bobo> blocked?
<Bobo> this isn't aim -_-
* Bobo sets mode: +aol blm07 |
#19465 (41/255) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Lotach presses his internet-relay Stab-in-eye-omatic button |
#19343 (35/247) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Rowen> Platonic relationship means no sex, dude.
* Rowen has a platonic relationship with Rowen.
* Sqrrl is anything but platonic with myself
Rowen> heh
Sqrrl> sometimes, me is the only action i get
Rowen> I did not, I repeat DID NOT have relations with myself.
Sqrrl> lol
Rowen> Well, sometimes that is the best action around.
Sqrrl> the safest action around, too
Rowen> heh
Rowen> And you don't have to buy yourself dinner.
Sqrrl> it'd be sad if you gave yourself a VD |
#20082 (38/289) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<etiolate> high:one post, a girl proclaiming she has leopard print underwear
<etiolate> low:next post, girl proclaiming fred durst turns her on
<Wala> high; girl that lives in your city and then comes over and plays wc3 with you and then you have sex with her and then she brings friends and you have sex with them every day and then you win the lottery for 500million
<Staquaft> What's the low against that?
<Wala> low; girls have aids
<Wala> but
<Wala> that's not very low
<Wala> considering how you have 500 million
<Wala> to pay for treatment
<Kevyn> high; you stop talking.
<Kevyn> low; you keep talking. |
#18982 (28/261) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pseudonym> And in other news, I scored a freelance web design job.
<Spike> woh, cool Pseudonym. where?
<Pseudonym> Spike: A local business that sells model train parts
<Eskimo-Steve> Pseudonym: make sure you use every animated model train gif you find
<Pseudonym> Eskimo-Steve: And lots of blink tags with links inside
<Pseudonym> And a bonzai buddy installer
<Eskimo-Steve> Comet Cursor
<Kinny-Kin> yes! comet cursor of a penis! |
#19313 (20/243) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Red-Fraggle> y'know, I've said this before, and I'm saying it again, a scrotum would make a DAMN fine change purse. |
#19398 (18/268) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Fas|n8> i wank while looking at the mirror.....while.....the bitch come out and stab me?
<Fas|n8> oi wank in front of the mirror....and say bloody mary 3 times....she will come out and give u a blow job
<sybex> I just took a bat to make myself feel safer :) |
#19322 (15/271) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
GypsyJr> I can imagine the script for an average porn movie.. two pages long with size 16 font :> |
#19334 (12/237) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
DARK-LORD> I got an email and it ahowed this Chinese/Seafood place called ....Fuk Mie. I don't even want to know how they awnser the phone!LOL |
#19516 (7/294) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Crash> her ass is so tight it scares me |
#18939 (5/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jasmine> kat works for cunts :)
<lsd_dishes> is that like working for peanuts, but more fun? |
#19290 (3/266) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<justin3> I want a a pet rock shaped as the pope |
#19609 (0/331) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<]|IonS|[> man if you had 15 foot foreskin that would rule for camping cause you wouldnt need a sleeping bag.....you could just role up in it like a moth in a cacoon or like pigs in a blanket |
#18920 (-1/347) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ambr> s/the/teh/ |
#19889 (-1/366) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Yeshness`M> when i was 12, my sister was 16... um she got wasted 1 night.. real bad.. and she passed out.. and like in the middle of the night, like 3-4 in the morning i like went in her room and pulled off her panties and shirt and started sucking away like a madman.. i dont think she even knows, or maybe she's just too embarassed to tell anyone.. |
#19878 (-1/322) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<biya_> IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF FLOWER I'D BE A BIG FAT ANGRY COCK |
#18916 (2/212) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ungod> stormo was talking about sex leigh :(
<lsd> ewww
<lsd> wrong!
-:- SignOff ungod: #lgl (error)
<Fryboy> see how wrong it was!
<Fryboy> it made ungod quit!
<lsd> error: wrongness overflow |
#18945 (0/270) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
kewy: puff puff
crc1: kewy doesn't smoke?
crc1: those sounded like inexperienced puffs |
#19815 (0/256) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** RaithBed is now known as RaithSweating
<Sorrow> wtf is Raith doing sweating in bed ? |
#19888 (0/243) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Hyperion> sparky.
<Hyperion> I've been caressing your face on the screen for ten minutes now.
<Hyperion> You have very beautiful skin.
<SparkyTWP> Oh, my spank you very much
<SparkyTWP> Wait until you feel the forskin
<SparkyTWP> I masage it to softness every night |
#18889 (-2/311) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<do0ne> what does it mean when explorer crashes often.
<DarkAppariti0n> Lol
<DarkAppariti0n> jo0 suck
<DarkAppariti0n> ;)
<do0ne> obviously |
#25088 (-1/241) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sugadon> hey man my got damn truck broke down on the highway
<drunkers> it started crying? |
#19977 (-2/272) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Geese> i think asians have special powers in fighting games
<DAL9000> Geese: maphack? |
#18564 (-2/230) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rattus> i hate it when i'm listeningf to loveline on the radio, then i turn my head, the reception fuzzs out, then i hear "god bless you" and realize i'm now istening to the local christian station |
#19945 (-2/228) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<bring me cooow>You seem pissed
<bring me cooow>did u go to the bathroom? |
#19389 (-2/227) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* BAShMaster enters the room shirtless and shoeless, with 2 waffles in his hand
<BAShMaster> yeesh, if my bare belly don't get a rise out of people, I don't know what will |
#18858 (-1/196) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< greenrd> 127.0.0.1 goatse.cx #This is to try and ensure that I'll never accidentally click here
< greenrd> 127.0.0.1 rotten.com #This is to try and ensure that I'll never accidentally click here
<@harb> Heh.
<@harb> I'm going to totally miss the point and bitch about inline comments.
<@harb> :D |
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