|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev123456 |
#301022 (809/939) πOld
<Fraxtil> ugh
<Fraxtil> a bunch of mormons came to my door
<taiyal> lol
<Fraxtil> and I decided to listen to them
<taiyal> you didn't convert did you
<Fraxtil> fucking 15 minutes later they're done and I have a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets
<Fraxtil> haha no
<taiyal> I have a Book of Mormon
<taiyal> got it for free off the internet
<NitroX72> they can actually drag on that long?
<Fraxtil> yes, nitro
<taiyal> i've read most of the first book
<taiyal> you know what's even better
<taiyal> on the page of the Mormon website where you can request a free book
<taiyal> you can check a box saying that you would like to have a representative come to your door and explain to you
<taiyal> so you can essentially beam mormons at people |
#141263 (220/266) πOld
<swight> "DARPA Advances AI Program For Air Traffic Control"
<swight> C`mon they GOTTA call that SkyNet
<jonathans> haha
<jonathans> yeah
<jonathans> It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are at the arrival gate. |
#302203 (389/459) πOld
<Mio> shinji I AM YOUR FATHER
<Mio> AND MOTHER
<shinji> Go fuck yourself
<shinji> Oh wait |
#302192 (319/417) πOld
<fahadsadah> I-ripped-my-spacebar-out-of-my-keyboard
<fahadsadah> and-can't-figure-out-how-to-put-it-back-in |
#302082 (370/516) πOld
<Kolin> just googled myself and my dad no longer comes before me
<rye`sky> it's more romantic if you come at the same time
<Kolin> thats sick |
|
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
|
#304058* (?/10) πOld
<+Biiaru> nuwen what's up?
< Nuwen> new guante mixtape is what's up.
<+Biiaru> @artist guante
<+Giga> Biiaru: guante has 4 listeners. Popular tracks: Bring Out Your Dead w/ See More Perspective, Greed (11:35 Remix) [reedit], and Your Boyfriend's a Republician (You Know I'm No Good Remix).
<+Biiaru> four listeners, huh?
<+Biiaru> must be really underground.
< Nuwen> SUPER INDIEComment: irc.what-network.net #indie
|
#301829 (206/382) πOld
< shortcircuit> So here's a fun joke to play on your Star Trek loving friends. Ask them what the name of Star Trek V was, but don't let them look it up online.
< shortcircuit> Most people I've asked get it wrong; they give the name for Star Trek VI instead.
< SilentAgony> attack of the clones
< Mattijle> empire strikes back? |
#301526 (241/313) πOld
<ProtoTom> just saw avatar
<ProtoTom> so James Cameron basicaly spent 500 mil to depict a love story between a 15 foot blue woman and a cripple
<jefHardy> it's a progress...last time he spent 200 mil to depict a love story between an iceberg and a big boat |
#301717 (803/969) πOld
<charl> hey navi, help. 9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u), for i
<navi> i <3 u
<navi> .. i'm going to kill you in your sleepComment: charl has a crush on navi. both are male, and navi is straight.
|
#301708 (424/498) πOld
<DrCoconut> my toaster seems to have 2 settings
<DrCoconut> bread
<DrCoconut> and charcoal |
#61349 (7812/9574) πOld
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
|
#61188 (409/501) πOld
<NoelCower> Before you is a pie. There is a door leading to the east.
<Wiebo> > take pie
<NoelCower> You take the pie, storing it in your anus.
<Wiebo> > e
<NoelCower> The door is locked.
<Wiebo> > die
<NoelCower> You die with a pie up your ass. You should have examined it -- there was a key in it. |
#57655 (447/539) πOld
<kolby> you know those bathrooms at football stadiums where like a bunch of guys just stand next to each other and piss in em?
<kolby> they had a smaller version of that in this restaraunt and I looked up while I was taking a piss and there was a mirror
<kolby> I started messing with my hair and I pissed all over myself and everyone behind me had this horrified look
<Scofco> hahaha, so you were pissing in the fucking sink?
<kolby> huh?
<kolby> ...fuck |
#41951 (144/274) πOld
<influxsys> my girlfriend is usually really panicy. Like something is going to go wrong, or she won't be able to do something in a certain time. Everything seems to worry her. So i sometimes like to watch her sleep, you know. she looks so peaceful, happy, relaxed. it's rather nice.
<influxsys> then i tea bag her |
#149340 (121/155) πOld
[helf] wow, the Marines commercials have gotten way better
[xexyz] i should point out that when you sign up for the Marines, your life does NOT get a kick ass metal soundtrack
[helf] awww fuck |
|
Subscribe to the RSS feed to get the latest approved quotes
|
#60850 (174/346) πOld
<[Lawnhorn]> man, that sucked
<[Lawnhorn]> got a knock on my door
<[Lawnhorn]> and two of my flatmates were there
<[Lawnhorn]> holding, on a plate, the pie I put in the oven at 12:40pm
<[Lawnhorn]> it could now be described as "ethnic" |
#29166 (8845/12133) πOld
<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit. |
#78595 (268/420) πOld
<DinkyDogg_> worst geeky erotic fiction EVAR
<DinkyDogg_> vista as a metaphor for a beatiful woman
<proudfoot> vista is perhaps a better metaphor for a woman who tries to be beautiful, but doesnt succeed, and has many, many, issues
<proudfoot> and happens to be very, very, insecure
<proudfoot> she also has the annoying habit of asking you if its ok to do anything |
#6692 (202/330) πOld
* TT205 wants to build a SNOT-HIPPO!!!!
<TT205> *blink*
* TT205 wants to build a SNOW-HIPPO!!!! |
#304006* (?/43) πOld
Danny: Have you heard Microsoft's new Windows line?
Danny: "Windows. life without walls."
Danny: Damn right. All kinds of shit can just walk into your house whenever it damn well pleases. |
#304000* (?/50) πOld
< dotequals> Oh my god guys.
< dotequals> I forgot to tell y'all.
< dotequals> This new guy at work says that his friend's mom was new to the Internet, and somehow got the impression that "lol" meant "lots of love".
< dotequals> So one of the first IM conversations she had went:
< dotequals> friend's mom: I was so sorry to hear that your dad died, lol. |
#303939* (?/30) πOld
<Kasjopaja23> anyone knows garden state?
<Sebas> Well, the squirrels in my garden have just declared sovereignty, but I don't think that's what you mean. |
#9336 (256/387) πOld
<Undertow-TOoL> You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is |
#304061* (?/5) πOld
<@Sebas> Deathmøle is a virtual post-metal band, whose works are freely available over the internet, created by Jeph Jacques in 2005.
<@Sebas> Jeph Jacques created the internet! |
#52818 (-22/206) πOld
<andariel> Strangest thing happened the other day... I was fucking my girlfriend doggystyle when all of a sudden she turns around and calls me a paedophile! So I just slapped her arse and said 'That's a mighty big word for a twelve year old'.Comment: #na on Utonet
|
|
Dropbox: store, sync, share, free, awesome!
|