|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev12345 |
#63382 (328/440) πOld
<PenguinMan> That is wrong on so many levels, I think I had to fight a boss or two |
#29482 (8204/12344) πOld
docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer) |
#302063* (?/46) πOld
<Gary13579> Corgan, so like I walked into my bathroom
<Gary13579> and I freak out cause there's like a 3 inch long bug just chillin on my shower curtain
<Gary13579> and turns out to be a mouse
<Gary13579> and I'm like
<Gary13579> d'awww
<Gary13579> then wait fuck
<Gary13579> WHY IS THERE A MOUSE ON MY SHOWER CURTAIN
<kullervo> see if you can tame it |
#302168* (?/72) πOld
< Def-Charger> my monitor won't power on, it gets power for a second, then dies
<@Gunrun> have you tried whacking it?
< Def-Charger> Gunrun: yes
< Def-Charger> then I tried hitting the monitor too |
#70207 (521/597) πOld
<LycoLoco> My son has a gameboy advance, and he blows on the cartidges when they don't work. The funny thing, is that this was not taught to him. He just did it on instinct, which leads me to believe that this behavior is inherited not learned. It seems that I've blown into so many nintendo cartridges, that it has changed my DNA... |
|
T-Shirt Hell: Shirts you'll never have the balls to wear in public
|
#139309 (2768/2982) πOld
<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs |
#67259 (355/427) πOld
<Evenflow> gotta go clean up now, got a redhead coming tonight who likes to be told what to do ;)
<Ueda> tell her to clean up |
#295487 (526/594) πOld
<gutupio> My dog has figured out you open the door by turning the handle.
<gutupio> He's trying to open the door now.
<gutupio> I'm afraid his ancestors might be raptors. |
#300724 (1423/1799) πOld
<Shey>Hey John,some confused lady called the helpdesk that they've closed the nursery two hours ago or so,and if you are gonna pick up your daughter...
<John>Holy shit!
-!- John has quit
-!- Michael has quit
-!- Nobody has quit
-!- MoneyMaschine has quit
-!- Server has quit
-!- fightbot has quit
-!- Nobody has joined #techsupper
<Nobody>Shey,send us some network guys, John tripped over the switch cable and pulled the socket from the wall. |
#51570 (10204/11812) πOld
<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what? |
#62110 (118/320) πOld
<Oyerth> You bastard.
<Oyerth> I don't want your pr0n!
<OBCT> ='(
<Oyerth> I'm sorry.
<Oyerth> I'm sure your pr0n is lovely. |
#302145* (?/58) πOld
< incluye> Oh my fucking are you serious
< incluye> Today's the day for Lesson 4.04 in Modern World Studies in my online course.
< incluye> GUESS WHAT ERROR I GET WHEN I GO TO IT |
#61349 (7695/9437) πOld
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
|
#60533 (6435/7781) πOld
<Zophory> dude, I just came up with the best idea for a Metal gear solid game!
<MrFizz> ....
<Zophory> it starts with Snake having to infiltrate a terroist meeting..
<MrFizz> I swear to God, if you say "Snake on a plane" at any point during this story, I'll cut you.
<Zophory> ..so, what's everyones plans for the weekend? |
#4265 (1172/1559) πOld
<Deffy> Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. |
|
Subscribe to the RSS feed to get the latest approved quotes
|
#80675 (12937/14605) πOld
<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or something
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola |
#77482 (4578/5944) πOld
<Snausages> So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
<Snausages> And the bartender says,
<Snausages> "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
<Myke> That struck a chord.
<Snausages> Careful with those puns, you'll get in treble.
<Myke> But they're key to my humour.
<Myke> And very noteworthy. |
#48894 (11181/15119) πOld
<@cripwalker> my girlfriend is so fucking cool.
<@cripwalker> we were arguing in IM last night about techtv being lame since g4 took over.
<@cripwalker> she thinks its better now that theres more "pretty" people on it.
<@cripwalker> that filter girl is, like, her idol.
<@cripwalker> anyway, i wasn't giving up. i really believe that channel to be a lost cause, now.
<@cripwalker> so she says to me "i'm gonna come over there and beat some sense in to you"
<@cripwalker> then she logs out.
<@cripwalker> about 10 minutes later, she pulls up in her car, runs into the house, walks in like she owns the damned place, and punches me hard as hell in the arm. no hello, or nothing.
<@cripwalker> then she leaves. didn't even say goodbye. i was totally speechless.
<@cripwalker> sure enough, 10 minutes later she logs back on.
<@cripwalker> she says "i knew you'd see things my way."
<@cripwalker> then she asks if she can come over to watch tv...
<@cripwalker> i'm sooo gonna marry her! |
#60854 (8635/10643) πOld
<dev-hda0> Damn... while coming home from the store, this drunk came up to me, and was like,
<dev-hda0> "Hey, you big black nigger! Loose-lips McGee, why don't you go back to your monkey relatives? Bet you couldn't even add 1 + 1."
<dev-hda0> And I calmly respond, "What's the derivative of cosecant(x)?"
<dev-hda0> he just replied, "fuck you" and left...
*** Join: Elexon
<Elexon> shit, I just got owned so badly by a black guy on the street... |
#57086 (7735/9447) πOld
<@codstar> rice crispies and hangovers don't go together
<@codstar> first time ive ever told a bowl of cereal to stfu |
#57165 (7319/8779) πOld
<jnz> I spilt Mountain Dew on my keyboard a few times and it left some thick syrupy stuff I never really decided to clean off. I've also spilt drinks on my cable modem and in my surge protector. Everything still worked fine.
<jnz> I move into an apartment close to my college for a semester and sugar ants appeared out of nowhere and would swarm my computer and electronics at night. In a week or so my cable modem, surge protector, and keyboard were completely clean and syrup free. Ants rock. |
#3936 (7289/10658) πOld
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that |
#5863 (6805/9792) πOld
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain |
#6460 (5863/9900) πOld
<studdud> what the fuck is wtf |
#262095 (7218/8398) πOld
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/secComment: ##programming on FreeNode
|
|
Syswear: Geek & Gamer T-shirts. Discount code QDBREADER
|