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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev12345678..18Next> |
#239876 (289/667) πOld
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH |
#50895 (240/358) πOld
<funkin_dudette> gah, my internets being gay
<mellomeh> wow really? my internet is gay too!
<mellomeh> our internets should totally get married
<funkin_dudette> um no thanks
<mellomeh> so you're saying our internets should break up?
* mellomeh has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* funkin_dudette has quit IRC (*.net *.split) |
#79824 (283/375) πOld
Zipper: I just found out today that my western civ. teacher lives in a 4 bedroom, 5.5 bath house with a 3 car garage. He owns 4 cars, one is a brand new Sequoya and it's just his wife and him
Zipper: After he told us that, the kid next to me says "You're a teacher... What does your wife do!?!?" |
#7966 (93/211) πOld
(CitizenC): I spilled my ashtray all over my computer earlier today.
(CitizenC): Son of a bitch.
(CitizenC): Took forever to clean up.
(CitizenC): At least I don't have to empty my ashtray now. |
#19385 (219/344) πOld
<Dragon_Goddess> i scanned a piece of toast
<Zack`> and you must be proud. |
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Dropbox: store, sync, share, free, awesome!
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#165659 (229/473) πOld
<Doc> I really liked the ending to Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, honestly.
<Doc> I thought it would be rather Lord of the Ringy, but it turned out to be quicker, better, and more emotional
<Yutz> You could have had Edward make out with Mr. Tumnus, then it would be nice and Lord of the Ringy
<Doc> My first thought wasn't "gross" but "I'm sure the internet has already done that" |
#2998 (107/250) πOld
<dboo> shit...i can hear the cat masturbating again |
#19518 (267/373) πOld
<Mike|Sleep> Good morning.
<Mike|Sleep> OMG it's 3PM |
#49957 (369/503) πOld
<shen> aah!
<shen> cat!
<shen> get off me, cat
<shen> I just gave you food, now go away, I am trying to type
<shen> no, don't purr, go and sit on your pillows
<shen> ...
<shen> you know, I should really shout at the cat, instead of just talking on IRC like this |
#526 (207/336) πOld
<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes |
#57019 (396/604) πOld
<Malphas> How many femanists does it take to change a light bulb?
<@Cassie> Oh no
<Malphas> Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.
*** You have been kicked from #Womens_Issues |
#13426 (245/336) πOld
<Glasses> Quebec is on fire?
<Glasses> I'm sure the rest of Cananda won't be too upset...
<Paul> Upset? THey started it. |
#2110 (97/263) πOld
<RaMTuFF> i like my women like i like my coffee
<RaMTuFF> quiet ! |
#36759 (58/178) πOld
(@TheVirus) instead of head banging
(@TheVirus) i just scroll my mouse rapidly
(@TheVirus) same effect
(@NesO) lol
(@KillGod) haha
(@_razor_) lol |
#72591 (320/414) πOld
<wac> In the entertainment industry's war on its customers, the CEOs of media conglomerates are represented by two separate yet equally-important groups.
<wac> The Motion Picture Association of America, who believes their shitty copy protection will suddenly become effective if they throw the DMCA in enough people's faces.
<wac> And the Recording Industry Association of America, who sues children.
<wac> These are their stories.
<wac> *law-n-order sound* |
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sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
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#28919 (184/284) πOld
<NikJam> gonna take a shower
<NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
<NikJam> I have school tommorow
<NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the counter
<Lime> you like her, dont you
<NikJam> well
<NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
<NikJam> i take what i can get |
#16627 (139/245) πOld
<The_Veteran> remember the reason you are an op DaMo
<Damo> coz I gave head
<The_Veteran> yes!
<The_Veteran> he admits it |
#7141 (102/230) πOld
<Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than windows
<Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
<Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS. |
#29453 (155/313) πOld
<flint`> well
<flint`> this wc3 channel has taught me one thing about korea
<flint`> they have completely abolished sexism
<flint`> and now they all just act like girls |
#2338 (182/303) πOld
* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle? |
#283509 (344/400) πOld
<paul> yea, the secured areas have additional security
<paul> I mean realistically as I say to people you can just go through the drywall with a claw hammer in about 5 minutes
<paul> if that
<paul> or as I call it, the "koolaid man" attack
<paul> bonus points for screaming "OH YEA!" when busting through |
#14618 (114/237) πOld
<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22 |
#18621 (156/281) πOld
<Pryde> okay I gotta go rescue a cow - bbl later
* Peptis imagines pryde running along to the baywatch movie and pulling the cow out of the dam |
#40766 (132/236) πOld
janeannskinner: it's kinda sad that you're a year younger than me and we're like the same level of maturity
Devious hobo: especially since you're a girl
janeannskinner: exactly my thinking
janeannskinner: I should be all mature and thinking about stuff like global warming
janeannskinner: instead I'm giggling over the idea of the printer coming on the scanner
Devious hobo: hehehehe
janeannskinner: COMING ON TO
janeannskinner: DISREGARD PLS |
#55452 (241/367) πOld
<warewolf> haha
<warewolf> I had a coworker who after seeing the sixth sense started acting all freakey around the office
<warewolf> one day he finally let out the joke
<warewolf> he walked up to me, and whispered into my ear (sounding EXTREMELY afraid)
<warewolf> "I see ...GAY PEOPLE!"
<bendy24> you know that the guy the kid talked to in the movie was actually dead...
<bendy24> and didnt know it
<bendy24> so that means...Comment: #linode
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T-Shirt Hell: Shirts you'll never have the balls to wear in public
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