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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..5678910 |
#61180 (2603/2855) πOld
* Joins: redryan_
<Trinexx> ryan! :D
<Trinexx> dude, where you been at?
<redryan_> man, I have no fucking idea. I went outside to get the mail, next thing I know I've got a job and a social life |
#300287 (405/439) πOld
<@Toba> Note to self: check new boxers before wearing. I just found a 'quality control passed' sticker on my wang. |
#300792 (708/772) πOld
<SterlingSilver> We got our report cards back last week. I'm not so great in school, so I did a D in one class. But I was totally okay with this when I realized that with the S (satisfactory) in chorus and the S in study hall, the first 6 grades on my report card spell "BADASS." |
#138889 (-271/951) πOld
Raycaster : I thought you hated poetry?
Nightripper: Poetry? Here's some poetry:
Nightripper: Roses are red.
Nightripper: Violets are blue.
Nightripper: Shut the fuck up,
Nightripper: Or I'll assrape you.
Nightripper: Enjoy. |
#304079* (?/3) πOld
<Doku> Want a mindfuck?
<LtBrenton> sure
* LtBrenton imagines a condom |
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Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
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#304075* (?/3) πOld
peteromega: So I'm scp'ing a bunch of photos from an external drive on my home machine through my server to a usb stick on this machine, so I can save myself 10 minutes of walking and give this to a guy at a bar a block and a half from my house without going home first.
peteromega: this is why the human race is doomed.
jsbronder: No shit, you should be using rsync. |
#44241 (84/146) πOld
Dan> So here are two pyros comparing burn stories.. is this like the proverbial whipping out of the cocks, except for pyros?
*time lapse*
Jace> in chemistry class we were using bunsen burners, i took out a penny and decided to melt it
Dan> SWEET ASS
Jace> it was very sweet until i decided to cool it down in a beaker of what i thought was water
Dan> ..oh fuck
Jace> i mean the penny was melted...and i dumped it into a beaker of HCl
Dan> OH FUCK AND A HALF.
Jace> not only did it make a loud enough noise cooling itself down and getting everyones attention, but because of the heat change, and the fact that it was HCl, the beaker broke, spilling HCl, now hot because of the penny, all over. So it started eating away the table and floor and my lab coat.
Dan> Somehow I think your cock is bigger than mine.Comment: Ooh, fire.
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#44276 (250/332) πOld
<@TimJohnson> im going to try and cook bacon on my george format grill
<@TimJohnson> yeyah
* Dudette formats the grill
<%Sunbun> the George Format Grill: Knocks out the FAT32Comment: #theromcafe
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#42306 (178/266) πOld
<insert people trying to convince Kaelic to kick out his GF so he can play more DnD>
<Kaelic> haha to everyone who thinks Kaelic should kick me out! :p Sex is better than D&D!! :)
<lnp-work> hehe
* Leon (random@deg.demon.co.uk) has joined #adnd
* Silly sets mode: +o Leon
<Yeo> can't argue with that
<lnp-work> D&D tend to last longer though :P
* Leon plays guess the subject
* Leon has a wild stab at sex
<lnp-work> ding :P |
#30860 (427/571) πOld
<wild-> a priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar
<wild-> and that's just the first guy
<wild-> hayoooooooooooooo |
#15125 (56/200) πOld
<Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
<The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire.
<The_Frymaster> You pervert. |
#54161 (233/359) πOld
<crunchy_dave> hey man
<crunchy_dave> were u hangin out with jonno today?
<Battleaxze> ya rly
<crunchy_dave> dude you say that to everything
<crunchy_dave> if you couldn't say 'ya rly' all day your head would explode
<Battleaxze> what!
<Battleaxze> I have so much willpower it oozes out
<crunchy_dave> convince me.
<Battleaxze> OK, how about this:
<Battleaxze> if I say 'ya rly' again in the next 24 hours i'll give you ten bucks Tuesday
<crunchy_dave> o rly?
<Battleaxze> ya rl-- STFU |
#40657 (136/224) πOld
< kitt> i'm trying to install linux for the first time
< kitt> but i can't find the setup.exe, any help |
#7960 (299/380) πOld
<Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
<artforz> how did you make it work?
<Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its structural integrity
<Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard |
#13549 (84/265) πOld
<Sumez> so, what's happened over the last week?
<RafaMan> |
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Got Twitter? Follow @qdb for updates
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#294401 (172/434) πOld
< sharkhat> and yeah, now im the weird guy at work because of the pooping asian drawing |
#39734 (75/207) πOld
<Dave> noooo mash has been canceled
<Omni> MASH ended in 1983.
<Omni> It's been canceled for 21 years.
<Mech> Now THATS lag time! |
#121252 (781/867) πOld
<StarRinger> I just thought of something
<StarRinger> when you download stuff online, its pirating
<StarRinger> but when pirates steal something, its noisy and brash with many dead bodies and cannonfire and immediate seizing of property
<StarRinger> if anything, downloading things on the internet, silently it by bit? its more like ninjaing
<narg_smash> Piracy! YAR
<StarRinger> you can start calling it piracy the day someone sends a cannonball into the RIAA building
<narg_smash> I accept your challenge, sir.
<StarRinger> Excellent. |
#65605 (752/842) πOld
<Burningmace> I had a customer in hysterics today at work
<+KPR> how come?
<Burningmace> Well, we sell lots of things that have different types, so sometimes you can buy assorted packs
<Burningmace> He was buying some flavoured condoms... assorted ones, so the computer automatically prepends "Assorted" to the start of it
<Burningmace> So I put it through and hand him the reciept and he checks it and starts laughing
<+KPR> huh?
<Burningmace> I took a look at the reciept, and because the line didn't fit on the paper, it'd truncated the first word.
<Burningmace> So he'd bought some Ass Flavoured Condoms.Comment: It's a laugh a minute at Lidl
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#2854 (113/237) πOld
<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see sparks in mid-air? |
#54135 (215/343) πOld
Geeky1: Jaguar V12s make baby jesus cry. They are, hands down, the biggest fucking mess I've ever seen under the hood of a car in my entire life
(...10 minutes later...)
Godzilla941: i think i finally found the dipstick
Godzilla941: it's like where's waldo for mechanics |
#51024 (101/233) πOld
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa |
#79369 (396/522) πOld
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler.
< kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong?
< deviant> C is great
< ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?"
< ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"Comment: #intersocs
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#18253 (185/278) πOld
<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home |
#54060 (-28/220) πOld
DarkSnake > if you have sex for several years would that qualify you as a sexologist?
chsh > I had my sexologist license for a bit, but it was revoked. :S
DarkSnake > quit practicing huh
chsh > I do however have a double doctorate in Ballgrabbery and Advanced Masturbatory StudiesComment: irc.unerror.com #lobby
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