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#185553 (-19/67) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scalar> I just found the platic bag that my ex-girlfriend used to keep my first gray hair
#311447 (-24/80) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Crusher> when I invited the top dozen or so botnets in here in 1997 it was empty
<tev> Where *did* the bots go?
<Crusher> tev: we opped them all, put them on bitch and the resulting -o+k+b+o... resulted in a network flood that not only completly split eFnet, but also melted blackend's primary router taking down Internet access to half of Arizona for around a week, which caused them to delink from eFnet till 2005
#308652 (-93/273) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> I need to animate something
<Tarkaan> not for sexual purposes
<Tarkaan> what software do I use?
Comment: #geekissues
#197814 (-33/103) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jamm0n> when i first cummed i thought i broke my penis
<Jamm0n> i tried to shove the goo back inside
#302029 (-76/220) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<celti> Fuck, my cigarette burnt down to my toes.
<jules> don't you mean fingers?
<celti> No, I mean toes. I was smoking with my toes so I didn't get ash in the keyboard.
<jules> WTF
#311125 (-98/270) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@barometz> Ha, I just agreed to "There was a problem loading the content of this EULA."
<@barometz> Wonder whether that's binding.
#309928 (-14/46) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<surskitty> the pair-up system is way less silly than Moulder carrying around a horse in fe8
<surskitty> I love you, weirdly buff healer guy
<surskitty> and your ability to fucking carry cavalry
<Geight> Moulder did that through sheer force of not giving a fuck
Comment: From a discussion on Fire Emblem 13's mechanics.
#299672 (-92/242) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right
#311462 (-40/112) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<PeopleProgrammer> "(23:41:42) devi: pidgin isn't the most robust irc client"
<PeopleProgrammer> the last thing I saw as I turned on an option in pidgin and crashed my machine
#172905 (-63/163) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<AgentRenegade> i think im gonna love my new highschool class^^
<AgentRenegade> during a lecture a boy suddenly stood up and yelled "Its 13:37, its 1337 time!!"
#311534 (-94/236) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GargajCNS> so i was looking at my VR headset and realized
<GargajCNS> my parents always told me not to sit close to the TV, and now in 2017 i'm literally jamming TVs into my eyes
#303236 (-92/230) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jkalex05> my grandma jogs with me
<jkalex05> and she runs ubuntu
<jkalex05> ftw
<jkalex05> she says windows are for carebears
<jkalex05> that made me lol
#310019 (-40/106) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<richterthethird> after doing some research
<TheBadSpoon> you STILL can't find your penis?
#199365 (-36/96) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<knoeki> :pd: <--- tounge kiss ;_)
<knoeki> or 'french kiss' as the americans may say
<knoeki> in dutch a 'french kiss' is a blowjob
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq irc.p2p-network.net
#240878 (-43/113) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<doc|work> hey, what happened thermopylae?
<ardchoille> he got burned out?
<ardchoille> He was fired?
<ardchoille> Got too hot under the collar?
<doc|work> ardchoille: btw, 7-11 here has giant slurpee vats
<doc|work> giant as in gallon sized probably
* ardchoille is still the king of bad puns
<doc|work> hence the change of subject :)
#310904 (-34/90) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Phase> what html do function does function calls actually generate?
<Phase> if youcan't tell, i didn't speel welo
<Phase> sleep'
<Xena> can you words that again?
<Phase> well'
#304182 (-83/203) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Erasmus> So advertising homeopathy is now illegal?
<@Erasmus> Or other quacky things.
<@Sebas> "Buy my ducks!"
* @Sebas gets arrested
#311509 (-112/268) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dr_pressure> Church is like book club except the book never changes and only one person gets to speak
#310126 (-69/169) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<schuko> i've had my share with C working with embedded software
<schuko> it's like star wars
<schuko> you shave off a few bytes and then there's a new hope
<schuko> then you run the test suite and the empire strikes back
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#306380 (-94/226) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kingsly> my tampon feels weird
<Cassy> You're a girl?
<kingsly> no
<kingsly> wait are those things only for girls??
Comment: #mugglenet on irc.mugglenet.com
#309608 (-105/249) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Reven> i remember this chick trying to tell me i got her pregnent and extort me for money
<Reven> i sat her down on my bed said "wait here" and went to the closet rummaged for a couple seconds and pulled out a coat hanger and started straitening it
<Reven> and said "dont worry i've done this before"
#297656 (-93/221) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Carly: Hmm... I was wondering what that sound was... and why my leg was getting wet
#300490 (-72/166) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Palantyre> If a lycanthrope becomes a merchant, will he be known as a warewolf?
<Ce`Nedra> *grins* yes
<Palantyre> Okay, just checking ;P
#311533 (-114/252) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ben_vulpes> code is not fucking art
<ben_vulpes> code is a bespoke railway engine hauling your carcass across the desolate sea of capitalism
<ben_vulpes> imagine if every single container ship had an entirely custom engine humming along inside, and the three people who knew where it needed grease applied daily basically just live in it
<ben_vulpes> that's software
#195546 (-41/95) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Leslie_S> I dunno if anyone that would care is here, but im sure anyone could laugh about the situation im in now
<Leslie_S> I've been stuck at this damn terminal for 2 days because i was involved in a crash at 3mph
<Leslie_S> it did THAT MUCH damage to our equipment...
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