QDB: Statistically Best Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..586587588589590591Next>
#197814 (-33/103) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jamm0n> when i first cummed i thought i broke my penis
<Jamm0n> i tried to shove the goo back inside
#302029 (-76/216) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<celti> Fuck, my cigarette burnt down to my toes.
<jules> don't you mean fingers?
<celti> No, I mean toes. I was smoking with my toes so I didn't get ash in the keyboard.
<jules> WTF
#311447 (-25/77) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crusher> when I invited the top dozen or so botnets in here in 1997 it was empty
<tev> Where *did* the bots go?
<Crusher> tev: we opped them all, put them on bitch and the resulting -o+k+b+o... resulted in a network flood that not only completly split eFnet, but also melted blackend's primary router taking down Internet access to half of Arizona for around a week, which caused them to delink from eFnet till 2005
#311462 (-40/112) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PeopleProgrammer> "(23:41:42) devi: pidgin isn't the most robust irc client"
<PeopleProgrammer> the last thing I saw as I turned on an option in pidgin and crashed my machine
#308652 (-104/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> I need to animate something
<Tarkaan> not for sexual purposes
<Tarkaan> what software do I use?
Comment: #geekissues
#309928 (-15/45) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<surskitty> the pair-up system is way less silly than Moulder carrying around a horse in fe8
<surskitty> I love you, weirdly buff healer guy
<surskitty> and your ability to fucking carry cavalry
<Geight> Moulder did that through sheer force of not giving a fuck
Comment: From a discussion on Fire Emblem 13's mechanics.
#310019 (-40/106) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<richterthethird> after doing some research
<TheBadSpoon> you STILL can't find your penis?
#240878 (-43/113) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<doc|work> hey, what happened thermopylae?
<ardchoille> he got burned out?
<ardchoille> He was fired?
<ardchoille> Got too hot under the collar?
<doc|work> ardchoille: btw, 7-11 here has giant slurpee vats
<doc|work> giant as in gallon sized probably
* ardchoille is still the king of bad puns
<doc|work> hence the change of subject :)
#172905 (-64/162) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AgentRenegade> i think im gonna love my new highschool class^^
<AgentRenegade> during a lecture a boy suddenly stood up and yelled "Its 13:37, its 1337 time!!"
#199365 (-37/95) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<knoeki> :pd: <--- tounge kiss ;_)
<knoeki> or 'french kiss' as the americans may say
<knoeki> in dutch a 'french kiss' is a blowjob
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq irc.p2p-network.net
#304182 (-83/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Erasmus> So advertising homeopathy is now illegal?
<@Erasmus> Or other quacky things.
<@Sebas> "Buy my ducks!"
* @Sebas gets arrested
#310126 (-68/162) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<schuko> i've had my share with C working with embedded software
<schuko> it's like star wars
<schuko> you shave off a few bytes and then there's a new hope
<schuko> then you run the test suite and the empire strikes back
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#310904 (-35/87) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Phase> what html do function does function calls actually generate?
<Phase> if youcan't tell, i didn't speel welo
<Phase> sleep'
<Xena> can you words that again?
<Phase> well'
#306380 (-98/222) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kingsly> my tampon feels weird
<Cassy> You're a girl?
<kingsly> no
<kingsly> wait are those things only for girls??
Comment: #mugglenet on irc.mugglenet.com
#195546 (-41/95) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Leslie_S> I dunno if anyone that would care is here, but im sure anyone could laugh about the situation im in now
<Leslie_S> I've been stuck at this damn terminal for 2 days because i was involved in a crash at 3mph
<Leslie_S> it did THAT MUCH damage to our equipment...
#310174 (-34/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<alise> "Europe is the national anthem of the Republic of Kosovo."
#300490 (-72/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Palantyre> If a lycanthrope becomes a merchant, will he be known as a warewolf?
<Ce`Nedra> *grins* yes
<Palantyre> Okay, just checking ;P
#311534 (-105/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GargajCNS> so i was looking at my VR headset and realized
<GargajCNS> my parents always told me not to sit close to the TV, and now in 2017 i'm literally jamming TVs into my eyes
#188760 (-47/105) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
kennygprs: the feet on one side of my tower are missing so its a gangster leanin' tower
#311125 (-118/248) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@barometz> Ha, I just agreed to "There was a problem loading the content of this EULA."
<@barometz> Wonder whether that's binding.
#301421 (-76/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CinMax> had angiogram, nothing is blocked. they just do not know....
<CinMax> they had to shave my nuts :(
<Von_Ruff> So you still don't know anything, but your balls are hairless now?  I'd say a definite decline since we last talked.
#297656 (-104/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Carly: Hmm... I was wondering what that sound was... and why my leg was getting wet
#308419 (-58/120) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kelso> I try my best to avoid myself.
#303236 (-110/212) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jkalex05> my grandma jogs with me
<jkalex05> and she runs ubuntu
<jkalex05> ftw
<jkalex05> she says windows are for carebears
<jkalex05> that made me lol
#299672 (-114/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right
save page | share <Prev1..586587588589590591Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,773 quotes approved; 8,802 fermenting; karma: 189.3860