QDB: Statistically Best Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#299486 (-2/162) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Augustine> Did the day sneak up on you? :o
<Samael> always does
<Samael> most of the time i kick it's ass
<Samael> which is where night comes from
Comment: #/x/ irc.netchan.org
#39465 (-1/129) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Ravenclaw) DUDE
(Ravenclaw) i just discovered a new trick for watching porn!!
(Ravenclaw) TURN YOUR RESOLUTION TO 640x480 !!!
(Ravenclaw) and all the pictures become infinitely larger
#37204 (-6/234) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<djoanes> fuck you bitch
<fulgore> I dare you to say it again
<djoanes> It =)
#38212 (-5/205) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MStar> what's an IRC agent?
<Xshare> eh.
<Xshare> Someone who goes around and tries to get you ops in IRC Channels?
<Xshare> Usually Jewish?
#129485 (-7/241) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@pinkxels> i bet like 30% of hillary's votes are women going "OH YEAH"
<@Mr_Giraffe> a kool aid man jar full of menstrual blood
<@Mr_Giraffe> crashing through a polling place
#103122 (-1/123) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> time is on my back
<@Rjx> twelve-winged demon with a million penises
<@Rjx> can't stop or it'll fuck me
Comment: #geekissues
#129759 (-4/186) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pthree> oh god, ern was watching some horrible fat person challenge show last night
<Austin> Are you fatter than a fifth grader?
<pthree> it was all i could do to make relatively few sound effects
<pthree> but it was a lot of "NOM NOM NOM" and mouth breathing.
#37874 (-3/163) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Mage> scoobiedo FIX ME PLZ
* @Penguin4x4 shoots up Mage with some Ecsatcy
<@Mage> cdkey plz
<@Penguin4x4> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
* nikhsub1 (~nikhsub1@i.pwn.j00.all) has joined #OA
* ChanServ sets mode: +oa nikhsub1 nikhsub1
* nikhsub1 is now known as nikhsub1|Lappy
<@Mage> thx
<@Mage> wait
<@Mage> fuck you
Comment: irc.zirc.org #OA
#39945 (-10/286) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ruud> sleeping makes her 10 times sexier cuz she cant say no till itz too late
#44891 (0/98) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chevell> so there's this guy right
<crudesunlight> Right.
chevell> and he's walking across the street, minding his own business when BAM, he gets run over by a semi. and do you know what he said?
<crudesunlight> Wait, how could he say anything if he's just been hit by a FUCKING SEMI-TRAILER?!
<chevell> dammit, you beat me to the punchline
#36332 (-4/182) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<splice> i'm trying to see how many lines of moronathon i can provoke with a single line of text
<splice> i'd say 10 is a good number, personally
#152139 (-3/153) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Garrett> I bought me the best present ever!
<Haras> what did you buy yourself? :)
<el_dulzor> a russian mail order bride?
#38092 (-5/191) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Capn`Blackout> DF: some guy was going on about how AA an NA was the shit once and when I told him that it was all mental crutchwork to brace yourself up until you had the will to quit yourself he exploded on me
<Capn`Blackout> so everybody in the truck gets real quiet until I say "so who laid the weenie on YOU?"
#40955 (-1/113) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Goremageddon> i use to fuck up alot when i started
<@Goremageddon> i gave a hot water enema to a 60 year old patient once
<@Goremageddon> and i didnt watch out
<@Goremageddon> so she shat all over me
<@Goremageddon> that fucking sucked
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#60 (-457/5759) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** EtherMan sets mode: +oo DigDug prysuxirl
#36208 (-7/209) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Enjoi> qdb.us != bash.org
#251763 (-2/126) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Neouka> oh, and .... fucking old people
< Neouka> Landau roofs ARE NOT IN STYLE ANY MORE
< Neouka> and they make your MODERN car look FUCKING STUPID
< Neouka> cars i've seen with a landau roof in the past week: 04 Impala, silver, with black landau roof
< Neouka> 06 Toyota fucking Camry, beige, with white roof. Looked absofuckinglutely ridiculous
< Neouka> seriously, who let these people put that shit on their car
< Neouka> I might as well put louvers on my Pontiac Vibe
#45458 (0/86) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> A German court sent to a psychiatric institution a man who cut off his own penis because of the incessant sexual demands of his wife, whom he then killed with the same knife.
<Rjx> they should send him to a stupid institution
<swight> bullshit? you mean there aren't tiny sentient beings that live in colonies in my fish bowl?
<Rjx> the weird thing is
<Rjx> he cut off his penis
<Rjx> THEN killed her
<timmo> i imagine he then started beating her with the chopped off penis
<timmo> and when that didnt work
<Rjx> should've just got one of those moulding kits
<Rjx> where you make a custom dildo
<Rjx> and then beaten her to death with it
<timmo> he stabbed her to death
<Rjx> yeah
<issuez> =\
<h4rm0n1c> with his "knife"
Comment: #geekissues on EFNet
#39975 (-1/103) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Firewitch> i have a dick... its in my filing cabnet.. =DComment: #boxtorrents @ irc.deltaanime.net
#303942 (-9/235) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fivre> Hello ladies. Look at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now look at mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Now back at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now back to mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Sadly, it isn't mine.
<fivre> But when it stops using inner-class-scented Java and switches to JDK 7, it could smell like mine.
<fivre> Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in an IDE, with the code your code could smell like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's a lambda expression, with two arguments of that type you love.
<fivre> Look again: the lambda is now a method reference!
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, Employee#isPartTime);
<fivre> Anything is possible when your code smells like fresh new JDK 7 hotness and not inner classes. I'm on a horse.
#306793 (-4/150) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[21:09:49] <Charbile> something tells me we won't see aethereal for months
[21:13:17] * Aethereal has joined
#39684 (-1/91) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> Why the fuck is there a new GI Joe DVD?
<Tarkaan> is it 2004 or am I drunk again?
<Jeffe> I think it's a little of both.
#286582 (-3/123) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
HalfCab: yea. im just printing out project xl
noxonwall: i'm burning it now
HalfCab: burnin wat?
noxonwall: ...the project for excel.
HalfCabx: why?
noxonwall: what do you mean why?
HalfCab: ur burning the movie u made for excel?
noxonwall: yeah?
noxonwall: doesnt that make sense?
HalfCab: why would u put ur project on fire?
#40044 (-2/104) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<StevenLawrence> hey dude
<rinmak> rinmak is away (Auto Away after 10 minutes)
<StevenLawrence> no dont lie
<rinmak> rinmak is away (Auto Away after 10 minutes)
<StevenLawrence> i saw u talking to jase
<StevenLawrence> fuk u
<rinmak> rinmak is away (yea, but hes gone now, dipshit)
<StevenLawrence> fuk u u idiot
<StevenLawrence> why did u get rid of my space
<rinmak> rinmak is away (he didnt, you just cant seem to operate a linux system well)
<StevenLawrence> shutup
<StevenLawrence> how can your linix talk to good
<StevenLawrence> ok
<StevenLawrence> linix is gay
<StevenLawrence> what do u have to say about that pc
#39009 (-1/83) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SysGod> HEY
<SysGod> not a lot
<SysGod> so you may take the xandros plung
<SysGod> thats cool
<SysGod> its a good os
<SysGod> i havnt used win since i installede it
<SysGod> typos grrrr
<SysGod> so
<||cw> yeah
<SysGod> you dont wanna continue this convo in here
<SysGod> sure
<SysGod> ok brb
<-- SysGod has quit ("BitchX-1.0c20cvs -- just do it.")
<Ch0s3n> he wasn't talkin to no one
<Ch0s3n> he was talkin to me
<Ch0s3n> he's new using bitchx and i was sending him private messages
save page | share <Prev1..585586587588589590591592Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,786 quotes approved; 8,799 fermenting; karma: 189.3436