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#40955 (-1/113) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Goremageddon> i use to fuck up alot when i started
<@Goremageddon> i gave a hot water enema to a 60 year old patient once
<@Goremageddon> and i didnt watch out
<@Goremageddon> so she shat all over me
<@Goremageddon> that fucking sucked
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#60 (-457/5759) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** EtherMan sets mode: +oo DigDug prysuxirl
#251763 (-2/126) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< Neouka> oh, and .... fucking old people
< Neouka> Landau roofs ARE NOT IN STYLE ANY MORE
< Neouka> and they make your MODERN car look FUCKING STUPID
< Neouka> cars i've seen with a landau roof in the past week: 04 Impala, silver, with black landau roof
< Neouka> 06 Toyota fucking Camry, beige, with white roof. Looked absofuckinglutely ridiculous
< Neouka> seriously, who let these people put that shit on their car
< Neouka> I might as well put louvers on my Pontiac Vibe
#45458 (0/86) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rjx> A German court sent to a psychiatric institution a man who cut off his own penis because of the incessant sexual demands of his wife, whom he then killed with the same knife.
<Rjx> they should send him to a stupid institution
<swight> bullshit? you mean there aren't tiny sentient beings that live in colonies in my fish bowl?
<Rjx> the weird thing is
<Rjx> he cut off his penis
<Rjx> THEN killed her
<timmo> i imagine he then started beating her with the chopped off penis
<timmo> and when that didnt work
<Rjx> should've just got one of those moulding kits
<Rjx> where you make a custom dildo
<Rjx> and then beaten her to death with it
<timmo> he stabbed her to death
<Rjx> yeah
<issuez> =\
<h4rm0n1c> with his "knife"
Comment: #geekissues on EFNet
#39975 (-1/103) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Firewitch> i have a dick... its in my filing cabnet.. =DComment: #boxtorrents @ irc.deltaanime.net
#303942 (-9/229) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fivre> Hello ladies. Look at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now look at mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Now back at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now back to mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Sadly, it isn't mine.
<fivre> But when it stops using inner-class-scented Java and switches to JDK 7, it could smell like mine.
<fivre> Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in an IDE, with the code your code could smell like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's a lambda expression, with two arguments of that type you love.
<fivre> Look again: the lambda is now a method reference!
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, Employee#isPartTime);
<fivre> Anything is possible when your code smells like fresh new JDK 7 hotness and not inner classes. I'm on a horse.
#44891 (-1/97) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<chevell> so there's this guy right
<crudesunlight> Right.
chevell> and he's walking across the street, minding his own business when BAM, he gets run over by a semi. and do you know what he said?
<crudesunlight> Wait, how could he say anything if he's just been hit by a FUCKING SEMI-TRAILER?!
<chevell> dammit, you beat me to the punchline
#306793 (-4/150) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[21:09:49] <Charbile> something tells me we won't see aethereal for months
[21:13:17] * Aethereal has joined
#39684 (-1/91) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> Why the fuck is there a new GI Joe DVD?
<Tarkaan> is it 2004 or am I drunk again?
<Jeffe> I think it's a little of both.
#286582 (-3/123) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
HalfCab: yea. im just printing out project xl
noxonwall: i'm burning it now
HalfCab: burnin wat?
noxonwall: ...the project for excel.
HalfCabx: why?
noxonwall: what do you mean why?
HalfCab: ur burning the movie u made for excel?
noxonwall: yeah?
noxonwall: doesnt that make sense?
HalfCab: why would u put ur project on fire?
#40044 (-2/104) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<StevenLawrence> hey dude
<rinmak> rinmak is away (Auto Away after 10 minutes)
<StevenLawrence> no dont lie
<rinmak> rinmak is away (Auto Away after 10 minutes)
<StevenLawrence> i saw u talking to jase
<StevenLawrence> fuk u
<rinmak> rinmak is away (yea, but hes gone now, dipshit)
<StevenLawrence> fuk u u idiot
<StevenLawrence> why did u get rid of my space
<rinmak> rinmak is away (he didnt, you just cant seem to operate a linux system well)
<StevenLawrence> shutup
<StevenLawrence> how can your linix talk to good
<StevenLawrence> ok
<StevenLawrence> linix is gay
<StevenLawrence> what do u have to say about that pc
#39009 (-1/83) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<SysGod> HEY
<SysGod> not a lot
<SysGod> so you may take the xandros plung
<SysGod> thats cool
<SysGod> its a good os
<SysGod> i havnt used win since i installede it
<SysGod> typos grrrr
<SysGod> so
<||cw> yeah
<SysGod> you dont wanna continue this convo in here
<SysGod> sure
<SysGod> ok brb
<-- SysGod has quit ("BitchX-1.0c20cvs -- just do it.")
<Ch0s3n> he wasn't talkin to no one
<Ch0s3n> he was talkin to me
<Ch0s3n> he's new using bitchx and i was sending him private messages
#245624 (-2/102) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<triented> If Sarah Palin tried to make a song, it would fail.
<triented> Because, the bridge would go nowhere...
#298714 (-3/117) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Doorslammer> My idea of fun is prank calling the nearest IT company
<Doorslammer> And asking if an I.P. Config is there
#40941 (-2/100) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Taskman> fuck u
<Taskman> oops
<Saoshyant> ......
<Saoshyant> ....
<Taskman> not u, i meen u
#52778 (-12/238) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
rcfalcons07: proof why chuck norris is my hero-
rcfalcons07: Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
#39265 (-1/81) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cjswimmer> wow, uninstalling SP2 for XP Pro fucked my system up real good
<Recidivis> installing it in the first place probably didn't help
<cjswimmer> well I was halfway through installation of it when I bluescreened
<cjswimmer> when I started up again it restored the system to a point before the install
<Recidivis> what a poetic xp fuckup
Comment: #geekissues
#45997 (-2/94) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@gunkan> ?
< stray> !
< ramoth4> .
<@gunkan> arrr
< ramoth4> matey
< stray> avast
< ramoth4> me hearties
< |404notfound> buttpirate
< stray> best kind
< ramoth4> no
< ramoth4> butte pirate
< ramoth4> best kind
< stray> True
< stray> because it's REALLY difficult to pirate a butte
< ramoth4> certainly
< ramoth4> pirating a whole city = jawesome
< stray> no no
< stray> stealing a land feature
< ramoth4> omg
< stray> holy shit, yeah
< ramoth4> in the butt
< stray> where else
Comment: somewhere on aniverse
#298757 (-2/92) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+Spike|Work> Damn, dude, Tucows herd we like resellers, so they put resellers in their resellers.
#40135 (-3/107) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<KArmA-> I've suddenly found myself split into an alternate server universe where this channel is occupied by a couple of nerdly faggots
<KArmA-> billn you used to be so fucking cool
<KArmA-> and then suddenly you bust out with a "borg on Q moment" comment!?
<KArmA-> WTF, over
<billn> I was trying to speak in terms you'd understand.
<KArmA-> I beg to differ
<KArmA-> there was not a single comment about fat chicks
<KArmA-> food
<billn> you ever seen a fat borg?
<billn> no
<billn> just cod pieces and big titties
<KArmA-> my point exactly
<KArmA-> I understand beer, food, fat chicks and farm animals
<KArmA-> oh, and yahtzee
<KArmA-> but that's it
<billn> ...
Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
#311443 (-3/99) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sohcahtoa> I don’t always use UTF-8, but when I do, I parse it as ASCII.
#302242 (-24/330) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tgies> http://qdb.us/101461
<tgies> if you did this irl a multitude of sunglasses would fucking appear on your face and fall all over the place in just a big heap
<tgies> and you would get a fucking special driver's license that entitles you to free chicken wings at any DMV office and the secret menu at arby's
<flamingspinach2> PlaceAtPC common_glasses_01 500
<G-Flex> no
<tgies> no
<G-Flex> don't
<G-Flex> spawnmass hkhangingpig 150
<flamingspinach2> what's that, deus ex?
<G-Flex> yeah
<G-Flex> yours was morrowind, right?
<flamingspinach2> yeah
<tgies> you guys are fucking nerds
Comment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org
#304869 (-6/126) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tec> The Delta was the most successful Group B car ever made.
<Tec> Though I'd still give a kidney (probably someone else's) for a Sport Quattro. Thing would outdo a Veyron on any surface other than dry tarmac.
<AkumaWolf> lol
<AkumaWolf> I would want the Veyron... only to put a vinyl of the Goatse guy on the underside of the spoiler, then retract it... then when another M3 asshole harasses me on the N1... I'll just pop out the spoiler and BOOM!... goatse :P
<AkumaWolf> in.. yo... faaaace!
<Tec> Pft.
Comment: #twokinds
#182244 (-20/260) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<paul> fuckers
<tyger> mushroom mushroom?
<jeff> SNAKE!
#42 (-725/5929) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<da_spork> ill give you the honor of having my first quote
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