QDB: Statistically Best Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..583584585586587588589Next>
#308835 (-15/423) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Delta> should make a website for weird knitted stuff and call it itchy instead of etsy
#244077 (0/116) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zero_0> I need some help with something
<Zero_0> How do I aquire a password hash from a user profile from a internet form?
<pooktopus> Easy, Zero_0. You use wget to download the profile, store the page as a string, then sha1($page) it.
<pooktopus> Or MD5() if you're peculiar.
<Zero_0> I can do md5
<Zero_0> thanx
#38212 (-4/204) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MStar> what's an IRC agent?
<Xshare> eh.
<Xshare> Someone who goes around and tries to get you ops in IRC Channels?
<Xshare> Usually Jewish?
#45458 (1/85) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rjx> A German court sent to a psychiatric institution a man who cut off his own penis because of the incessant sexual demands of his wife, whom he then killed with the same knife.
<Rjx> they should send him to a stupid institution
<swight> bullshit? you mean there aren't tiny sentient beings that live in colonies in my fish bowl?
<timmo> YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX? *CHOP* HERE TAKE IT
<timmo> TAKE IT YOU DUMB BITCH
<Rjx> the weird thing is
<Rjx> he cut off his penis
<Rjx> THEN killed her
<timmo> i imagine he then started beating her with the chopped off penis
<timmo> and when that didnt work
<Rjx> should've just got one of those moulding kits
<Rjx> where you make a custom dildo
<Rjx> and then beaten her to death with it
<timmo> he stabbed her to death
<Rjx> yeah
<issuez> =\
<h4rm0n1c> with his "knife"
Comment: #geekissues on EFNet
#282264 (-12/356) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jack> A little bit of Jessica on the floor,
<Jack> A little bit of Monica on the steps,
<Jack> Mumbai number FIVE!
#196261 (0/110) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<&Unhuman> when cloning is invented
<&Unhuman> JUST THINK ABOUT THAT
<&Unhuman> A MILLION OF ME
<&Lyle> Oh. You're looking to recreate Munckinland, Unhuman?
#37575 (-2/162) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Deranged): I tried to teach my dog safe sex, but he kept licking off the rubbers.
#129485 (-6/240) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@pinkxels> i bet like 30% of hillary's votes are women going "OH YEAH"
<@Mr_Giraffe> a kool aid man jar full of menstrual blood
<@Mr_Giraffe> crashing through a polling place
#299486 (-2/162) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Augustine> Did the day sneak up on you? :o
<Samael> always does
<Samael> most of the time i kick it's ass
<Samael> which is where night comes from
Comment: #/x/ irc.netchan.org
#36332 (-3/181) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<splice> i'm trying to see how many lines of moronathon i can provoke with a single line of text
<splice> i'd say 10 is a good number, personally
#37874 (-2/162) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Mage> scoobiedo FIX ME PLZ
* @Penguin4x4 shoots up Mage with some Ecsatcy
<@Mage> cdkey plz
<@Penguin4x4> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
* nikhsub1 (~nikhsub1@i.pwn.j00.all) has joined #OA
* ChanServ sets mode: +oa nikhsub1 nikhsub1
* nikhsub1 is now known as nikhsub1|Lappy
<@Mage> thx
<@Mage> wait
<@Mage> fuck you
Comment: irc.zirc.org #OA
#40955 (0/112) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Goremageddon> i use to fuck up alot when i started
<@Goremageddon> i gave a hot water enema to a 60 year old patient once
<@Goremageddon> and i didnt watch out
<@Goremageddon> so she shat all over me
<@Goremageddon> that fucking sucked
Comment: #blackdeath-cult
#39945 (-9/285) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ruud> sleeping makes her 10 times sexier cuz she cant say no till itz too late
#37778 (-6/234) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
mistercow43: someone with no sense of humor keeps submitting to qdb.us
mistercow43: from the channel
mistercow43: #LiveYiff
mistercow43: *vomits*
nelyab39: EEEEEWWWWW!!!!
nelyab39: >.<
mistercow43: bastard Furries will take away everything worth living for
mistercow43: and then they'll take away everything worth dying for
mistercow43: before you know it
mistercow43: they've taken away everything worth going on a violent furricidal rampage for
nelyab39: hahahahaha
mistercow43: and then
mistercow43: everything worth curling into a fetal position and crying for
#38092 (-4/190) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Capn`Blackout> DF: some guy was going on about how AA an NA was the shit once and when I told him that it was all mental crutchwork to brace yourself up until you had the will to quit yourself he exploded on me
<Capn`Blackout> he screams MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN NA OR AA HAVE BEEN EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSED AND DO NOT HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO DO IT THEMSELVES GODDAMMITT
<Capn`Blackout> so everybody in the truck gets real quiet until I say "so who laid the weenie on YOU?"
#36208 (-5/207) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Enjoi> qdb.us != bash.org
#129759 (-4/186) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<pthree> oh god, ern was watching some horrible fat person challenge show last night
<Austin> Are you fatter than a fifth grader?
<pthree> it was all i could do to make relatively few sound effects
<pthree> but it was a lot of "NOM NOM NOM" and mouth breathing.
#44891 (0/96) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chevell> so there's this guy right
<crudesunlight> Right.
chevell> and he's walking across the street, minding his own business when BAM, he gets run over by a semi. and do you know what he said?
<crudesunlight> Wait, how could he say anything if he's just been hit by a FUCKING SEMI-TRAILER?!
<chevell> dammit, you beat me to the punchline
#152139 (-3/153) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Garrett> I bought me the best present ever!
<Haras> what did you buy yourself? :)
<el_dulzor> a russian mail order bride?
#39684 (0/90) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> Why the fuck is there a new GI Joe DVD?
<Tarkaan> is it 2004 or am I drunk again?
<Jeffe> I think it's a little of both.
#60 (-454/5756) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** EtherMan sets mode: +oo DigDug prysuxirl
#251763 (-2/126) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< Neouka> oh, and .... fucking old people
< Neouka> Landau roofs ARE NOT IN STYLE ANY MORE
< Neouka> and they make your MODERN car look FUCKING STUPID
< Neouka> cars i've seen with a landau roof in the past week: 04 Impala, silver, with black landau roof
< Neouka> 06 Toyota fucking Camry, beige, with white roof. Looked absofuckinglutely ridiculous
< Neouka> seriously, who let these people put that shit on their car
< Neouka> I might as well put louvers on my Pontiac Vibe
#39975 (-1/103) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Firewitch> i have a dick... its in my filing cabnet.. =DComment: #boxtorrents @ irc.deltaanime.net
#39009 (0/82) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SysGod> HEY
<SysGod> not a lot
<SysGod> so you may take the xandros plung
<SysGod> thats cool
<SysGod> its a good os
<SysGod> i havnt used win since i installede it
<SysGod> typos grrrr
<SysGod> so
<||cw> yeah
<SysGod> you dont wanna continue this convo in here
<SysGod> sure
<SysGod> ok brb
<-- SysGod has quit ("BitchX-1.0c20cvs -- just do it.")
<Ch0s3n> he wasn't talkin to no one
<Ch0s3n> he was talkin to me
<Ch0s3n> he's new using bitchx and i was sending him private messages
#39265 (0/80) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cjswimmer> wow, uninstalling SP2 for XP Pro fucked my system up real good
<Recidivis> installing it in the first place probably didn't help
<cjswimmer> well I was halfway through installation of it when I bluescreened
<cjswimmer> when I started up again it restored the system to a point before the install
<Recidivis> what a poetic xp fuckup
Comment: #geekissues
save page | share <Prev1..583584585586587588589Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,725 quotes approved; 8,858 fermenting; karma: 189.5618